Sex Surfin'

I admit it, l like to watch a lot of television - far more than I ought to. But I always keep my adult webmaster cap on when I’m watching TV, plus I have a short attention span. So my recent sessions go a little something like this…

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Oh look, there’s Sue Johanson telling Conan O’Brien how a man can improvise his own masturbatory tool, assuming he can’t afford any of her signature line of toys. She is such a piece of work (in a good way)! What’s that now? Take a sheet of bubble wrap, strap it to the palm of your hand, lube it up, and go to town? Hmmmm…I’ll have to try that someday (real soon).

As for you people who actually have money to spend, she also mentions something about the Royal Butler and the Happy Rabbit .

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Check out this commercial here, I love this one. It’s an ad for 1-800-GET-CHAT. They’re basically trying to tell you that if you call this party line, you’ll be able to speak to women as hot as Nikki Nova, Charmane Star, Monique Alexander, and what's-her-name (is that fourth chick Keri Sable, by the way?). Gimme a break.

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, the ad is just like the zillions of Vivid-girl endorsements that company runs at the beginning of all of their DVDs (you know, the part of the DVD you can’t skip over). And speaking of commercials...

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Where is this new Sugar DVD ad featuring Tera Patrick that I’m hearing so much about? It’s supposedly running on each of these standard cable stations: MTV, VH1, BET, Spike and E! Network. I must’ve missed it. Let me try them again.

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Nope, I still can’t find it. I personally am just curious to see porn stars on regular TV (not on after-hours premium cable like Cinemax, and not on the Playboy Channel) with their clothes on for a change; just to see how they come across. Besides, I respect what Ms. Patrick has accomplished in the adult industry.

I already know how good the Sugar DVD adult DVD rental service is. I’ve been touting them heavily for a while now. I don’t really need to see the commercial - at this point the spot would be just like preaching to the choir, as far as I’m concerned.

While I’m on the subject of premium cable, let’s see when the new season of the pornstar-laden Cathouse comes out on HBO...

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(I think you get the picture. :))

Show Me Some Skin

I don’t know if any of you have ever been to GUBA, but they have a third level domain now totally devoted to adult content. Or that appears to be the case on the surface of it...

Skin Video consists of pics and videos that have been posted to Usenet groups. Skin just gives you a means to access all of those videos and images through one interface. And Skin tries its best to group them as appropriately as it can, but it’s almost an impossible job. The categorization process will drive you crazy if you try to make sense of it.

The porn genres run about 19 deep, with many sub-categories nested into the main genres. From what I’ve seen, the pornstar videos niche, for example, consist of content from as far back as the mid 80s (taking into account the Christy Canyon clips) to the early part of this century (considering the Jenna Haze videos). So from the looks of it, there are no new releases posted.

The good news, and another feature of the Skin service, is that you can not only watch the videos online (in Flash) you can download it to your local hard-drive, or to 2 other hardware devices: namely, the PSP and the (video) iPod. And, of course, the pics can be saved also.

The bad news (if you’d consider it that) is, while a lot of the clips are nice and hardcore, some of the clips are quite tame by comparison (and these are the pornstar vids I’m talking about!). Even within the so-called “racy” celeb content, some of the clips just feature interviews ( no skin showing at all), belying the reason for their postings at the site in the first place.

By the way, the clips range in length from very short (about 9 seconds) to whole sex scenes (which average 15 to 25 minutes each).

For lack of a better description, Skin Video is akin to pornographic ADD. So for those who like a little (make that a lot of) variety in their porn, the service costs about $15 a month, and with more content than you can possibly go through in 30 days (unless you really don‘t have a life), give it a shot at least once. And besides, like I said, you get to keep all the content.

Below are a handful of samples from the site. I have to apologize for the quality of the pics, especially the ones linking to the clips. The vidcaps are (obviously) taken directly from their respective clips and the quality of the clips aren‘t that great to begin with.