Porn Info: 2006 AVN Awards

Nominations for the 2006 AVN Awards came out last week. I’m not going to discuss all the categories. I’m just going to give a general overview of the field and broach some of the more anticipated categories.

First of all, there are way too many nominees for a lot of the categories, and for that matter there are too many categories themselves. To me, that just means more disappointed nominees. Maybe AVN selects many nominees for a particular category - knowing only one can be the winner - as their way of giving many deserving parties their individual props. In which case, it’s truly an honor just to be nominated. However (or should I say Besides?), if you need an AVN award to validate your existence in the adult industry, you might be in it for the wrong reasons.

I was nowhere close to seeing the majority of the films and videos that provided all the nominees. I do know that the critically-acclaimed Pirates (which I have yet to see) received 24 nominations while The New Devil in Miss Jones received 19 nominations.

One category (perhaps the most important one) New Devil is nominated in is for Best Film, along with 5 other films from New Devil ’s production company, Vivid Entertainment. So the odds are whichever film wins, the folks at Vivid are going to walk away a happy group here.

That Best Film category seems to offer some very stiff (teehee) competition. I’ve only seen two of the films - New Devil and Last Girl Standing - and I would have a hard enough time choosing between those two, let alone all nine nominees.

I haven’t seen Pirates , but Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre will be hard to beat in terms of Best DVD. Although I thought Camp Cuddly Pines was only fair as a movie, the DVD extras are insane and are worth the price of admission.

On to the individual awards…

If it were up to me to chose the winner in the Crossover Star category (why don‘t they just name this the Jenna Jameson Award and get it over with?), I would take two things into account:
1. The person who was involved in or spear-headed the most content available for a non-pornographic audience; and
2. The person who I came across (saw, read about, or heard mentioned) the most while I was not on the computer or actively engaged in marketing porn.

Based on just the first criterion, I would chose Seymour Butts (for his Family Business Showtime series). But considering just the second criterion, I would select Mary Carey (just because of all the hoopla concerning her political aspirations). That being said, I think Butts is one of the favorites (along with Jameson) for the award, while I think Carey has a very slim chance.

For Best New Starlet, I’m partial to Lori Alexia, but I think Keri Sable is going to get the award. Sable just has the look. As far as Female Performer of the Year, I don’t have a prediction but I’m shocked that neither of the Big Two starlets - Jameson or Tera Patrick - are even nominated. Actually, I take that back. My money’s on Taylor Rain: she seems to be everywhere.

As for Male Performer of the Year, I would chose Tommy Gunn for the same reason as I chose Rain. He’s as ubiquitous as they come for a dude in this female-driven industry.

I’d just said in my previous post that I didn’t think Samson deserved a Best Actress in a Film nomination for her role as Justine Jones in New Devil . To much overacting if you ask me. It wouldn’t be the first time for a porn flick, but when you’re talking about awards, you expect the best of the best to be nominated. I guess the powers that be figured since the movie was so well received as a whole that it would be a sort of slap in the face if the film’s lead actress weren’t nominated. Other than that , I have no idea who the front-runner is in this category.

I also said in the previous post that I thought Georgina Spelvin, the original Miss Jones, was excellent in her role in New Devil . I think she’ll win in her category of Best Non-Sex Performance. Besides, she has sentimental favoritism (being classic porn royalty, sort of) on her side.

When all is said and done, I think both the Best Renting Title and Best Selling Title will be either of the two production heavyweights: Pirates or The New Devil in Miss Jones . And the directors of these titles will win Best of in their respective directorial categories - I.e Joone will win Best Director for a Video and to Paul Thomas will go Best Director for a Film.

And as a final note on nominations, it says that Jameson is nominated for the Hall of Fame this year. Just now. Isn’t there some sort of Fast-Track process that could have gotten her in sooner? By my reckoning, she qualified for “Fame” status about, oh, four or five years ago. But that‘s just my opinion…

“Whatever Happened To...?”, Part VI: I saw Janet Jacme (she seems to still be working in the industry, thank goodness) on the list of Hall of Fame nominations and it reminded me of Jake Steed, with whom she did a sexual intercourse instructional video that I have.

I don’t usually focus on male performers, but I remember Steed used to be huge (I don‘t mean in that way, although...) in the mid 90s; and not just in black porn, but porn in general. He and Sean Michaels were the ebony performers of their day.

As a performer, he went by a lot of names . Whatever he goes by these days, it seems that he has his own production company now. I guess that rap career thing didn’t work out...

Porn DVD Review: The New Devil In Miss Jones

For those who don’t know (or couldn‘t surmise from the title), The New Devil in Miss Jones is a remake of the classic adult film The Devil in Miss Jones. Maybe that’s why this film is so good. I never saw the original, but if this remake is a faithful copy of the original scene-for-scene, I can see what made the original Devil a classic. The idea behind the movie is that good.

The premise of this particular movie is that a woman (Miss Jones, of course) - played by Savanna Samson - gets the chance to live the last day of her life over; along with all the mistakes, second-chances, wishful fantasies, and regrets that that do-over entails. Jenna Jameson plays the devil who gives her that chance.

This is one adult movie you will find yourself watching over a second time just for the plot and not for the sex. The reason for this is two-fold:
1. The plot is very engaging for a skin-flick; and
2. You have to watch it a second time for the story to make sense. That’s just my opinion.

When I watched The New Devil in Miss Jones the first time, the plot made no sense at all. And this was given the fact that I knew partially what the premise of the movie was going in (namely, I knew that a woman called Miss Jones had a second chance to live her life filled with lust and passion). You know that feeling you get when you start watching a 2-hour movie one hour or so into it? Or watching the sequel to a movie before you watch the very necessary prequel? That’s how I felt when I started to watch this movie and through most of it: completely lost on the plot points, like someone had dropped me into the middle of the story. Yet I knew I’d been watching the movie since the beginning, and there was no prequel to this movie.

However,just when you begin to chalk up the plot to some artistic nonsense that the script-writer thought up, a collection of story elements that you can’t comprehend when you string them together, the story starts to make sense during the latter part of New Devil. So if you’re trying to understand the plot during the first part of the movie, hang in there.

But even when the story made no sense to me, I was still set to give the movie an enthusiastic recommendation (4 out of 5 stars) - not necessarily a top one (5 out of 5) - based on the sex alone. The anticipation - from all that I’d heard - of the Devil in Miss Jones story and this story’s failure (in my own mind, up until that point) only served to detract a little from the overall movie. The sex is great.

The best sex scene is the last one. Now for classification purposes, the New Devil DVD splits this sequence into two separate trysts. But when I saw it, it was hard to tell where one ended and the next one began. The scenes follow closely on the heels of one another, and they take place in the same setting and atmosphere.

The scene(s) is/are basically set in a red-lit Miss Jones‘ house. Now, usually I think sex scenes in a room with red lighting is a little cheesy, but somehow the scene seems to work here. I think it’s because red is (a lot of people consider) the devil’s color. And besides the lighting makes the scene really look decadent and depraved, which is in keeping with the theme of the movie: good, wholesome girl gone very bad.

The sequence starts out as an orgy romp with a lot of BDSM (including a gimmick with hypodermic needles that made me turn my head away squeemishly) and pares down to just Samson and her two boy-toys. I can’t really describe to you exactly what goes on (it is hard to see in this light) but like I said, the entire sequence is hot. And I didn’t really understand the whole thing with the snakes; I think the concept might have been taken from the original Devil in Miss Jones. But what the hey? That part is hot too.

The first sex scene is a gangbang where Vicky Vette gets done by four guys on top of a garbage dumpster while about a half dozen or so other naked guys watch with dicks in hand (you know, your basic run-of-the-mill stuff :)). The guys (those participating) lick, suck, stroke, analize, and cum all over her and her bountiful boobs. This scene is just plain filthy in a very, very good way and is the kind of sex men dream about.

Samson has a boy-girl scene, where she does anal, with Nick Manning in and out of a pool. She also has a lesbian scene with Jameson (I bet you saw that coming). Both scenes are solid and equally good.

There are a couple of dungeon sex scenes in The New Devil in Miss Jones. There’s one in which Jameson takes a strap-on to the young Rachel Rotten (whose name seems fitting for this feature film). In the other scene, Angelica Sin (another appropriate moniker) and Roxanne Hall tie up Dick Smothers, Jr - the male lead in Devil - and make him watch as they fuck/lick the shit out of each other. Not being able to be part of the Sin - Hall pussy-petting party? Now that’s torture...

Just a note, for a while now I’ve thought that Jameson has a man’s spirit trapped inside a starlet’s body. She only does other girls (and her husband) on camera, and she fucks like alpha-males do. She stands her sex partners on their hands, she makes them flip their legs over their heads in the pile-driver position, etc, all in the name of eating pussy and tossing salad. Her sexual performance is not an issue in New Devil.

When it comes to the portrayal of the devil, Jameson isn’t a great actor, but she definitely looks the part. First of all, she’s always had that conceited, walk-into-the-room-and-all-eyes-on-me strut. Secondly, like I intimated before, she’s got the whole carnal, I-will-consume-you-in-bed thing going for her. Plus her eyebrows have that cunning/evil/knowing look about them (which they’ve always had anyway), and she wears red (duh) a lot in the film.

As for the portrayals of other major players in New Devil, I thought Georgina Spelvin - the original Ms. Jones, by the way - turned in an excellent performance. Smothers was also very good. On the other hand, even though Sampson was nominated in the category of Best Actress in a Film for the upcoming AVN awards (which is a topic for a future entry), I didn’t think her acting was that good. That is, up until the very end sequence (which I wouldn‘t dare give away).

But, to reiterate, The New Devil in Miss Jones has very good sex and one of the best plots I’ve seen in a porno movie since The Masseuse. Incidentally, Jenna Jameson appears in - and won an award for - a remake (which came out last year) of that movie also.
Speak of the devil...

The New Devil In Miss Jones
Official Movie Site

Why I'm thankful...

How much do I hate WantedList.com right about now?

I wrote a previous post saying how they were uncommonly late in sending me my first DVDs after I’d signed up for their DVD rental service. What happened was that I’d won third place in a “Name the Mascot” contest for an up-and-coming production company, and my prize was a free month’s membership at WantedList.

So I redeemed the free offer by signing up for the Preferred Plan which allows you to have 4 DVDs at a time. And those were the circumstances that led up to the previous post.

Anyway, I finally got my DVDs. Meanwhile, I noticed in my rental queue that a third movie that clearly said was available “Now” was not being sent to me. To tell you the truth, I was going to let the matter slide on two accounts:

1. I guessed that since my membership was free, they’d automatically put me on the 2-at-a-time plan; and
2. Even though it took me awhile to get the DVDs to begin with, I couldn’t really handle more than two at a time, anyway. (They were for reviewing purposes, not pleasure.)

But, unbeknownst to me, they’d charged my credit card on the day that I signed up. I only found that out by looking at my credit card statement. There is no link under your Account Manager at WantedList that allows you to view recent charges to your account. Moreover, you know how there is a reference code and phone number next to billed charges on your credit card? Well, WantedList’s parent company CBT Media doesn’t have a listed phone number on your statement.

So I fired off an e-mail to customer support asking why my credit card was charged. They replied that the charge was the difference between the 2-plan, what my free membership entailed, and the 4-plan, what I’d signed up for.

In my graciously worded reply (okay, that’s a lie; I was really starting to get pissed), I told them to show me the URL where it said that my free membership had to be a 2-plan. Because I sure couldn’t find it in their FAQ or Terms and Conditions; nor was it in the e-mail that was sent to me declaring my prize. I also asked them why my third movie wasn’t sent to me even though it was available.

They sent me another reply, some form letter to the effect that “If the movies in your queue are available they will be sent to you…“, yada, yada, yada. But they make no mention of the other issue that I brought up, namely that there is nothing in their fine print that limited me to a 2-DVD free membership. They totally glossed over that little fact.

And get this, in another letter dated the same day, they told me that they’d sent me my third DVD (they send you an auto-mail alert to let you know when your movies ship). The fact that they chose to send it to me after my complaint still seems kind of fishy to me.

So that’s where I stand with WantedList right now. I don’t know why anyone (including myself) would want to deal with all that aggravation anyway. I’ve been touting SugarDVD all this time and I’m not going to stop now: SugarDVD has the same extensive collection of just-released DVDs and their 2-plan costs only $9.99/month vs. WantedList‘s $17.95 2-plan!

Now I’m so upset that I’ve forgotten the original intent of my post…Oh yeah, at this time of season, I’m grateful for porn. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! :)

i(n) Pod We Trust

I said in a previous post that I thought that iPod porn was going to be huge. I said that because I’d heard that Playboy - fueled by lagging sales - and Penthouse were going to make iPod video-specific adult content a reality. And it seems that I wasn’t the only one who liked what they had to say, because that announcement caused a spike in Playboy stock...

Boy, a lot of iPod-related news these days. It seems that an adult novelty company has created a sex toy that plugs into said device. The toy generates vibrations - which can be pointed in a (ahem) strategic direction - based on the music emitted by the iPod. This little sex toy bugger is very conveniently called the iBuzz , and it seems rather similar to the Audi-Oh to me...

I read that the SuicideGirls got a ridiculous amount of downloads (something like a million) of their iPod-specific videos within the space of a week. I’d only heard mention of them just the other day for the very first time. So I decided to shoot over to their site to see what all the fuss was about. It’s a pretty decent site if you’re into that kind of stuff (Goth girls who pose for softcore photos).

I, the ever-thinking businessman, decided that I’d like to capitalize on them since they seem to be hot right now and that‘s the American way (said with tongue firmly planted in cheek). I searched for some sort of affiliate program link on their site, but all I could find is a referral system where a webmaster (or anyone, for that matter) accrues points for either sending traffic their way, writing essays for them, etc. Moreover, you can only redeem those points for SG merchandise and - this being the grand prize - a trip to California to spend the day as an assistant to a top SG banana. No cash rewards, no thanks.

Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to wait for that Playboy iPod-content sponsorship to kick in...

Porn DVD Review: Phatty Girls 5

First impressions are really something: you could be evaluating a person, place, thing, movie, TV show, or situation. And while for the most part that thing or person may not have been up to snuff, your first impression of it or him could be your most enduring one. The reason I bring this up is because, Phatty Girls 5 starts off with a bang. The DVD is a gonzo production

featuring gluteally- (my spell-check is telling me that that’s not a word, but I don’t care :)) endowed women. And first up to bat is Diana Devoe - you talk about a first impression!

She absolutely rules the screen: she’s bootylicious, she’s charming, she’s a sexual freak. Basically, she’s a ride-or-die chick. She and Justin Slayer - who is the DVD’s male talent / producer and is in every scene - talk thrash throughout their entire scene together. I don't mean plain old dirty-talk ("Yeah baby, yeah baby, fuck me harder."), I mean real thrash-talking. They talk about who’s going to make the other cum first, who’s holding out on whom, etc. I've loved watching adult actresses thrash talk on camera ever since I first saw Randi Wright do it (She says to the guy, “Is that all you got, bitch?”).

And Slayer and Devoe go at it for a good 40 minutes of the DVDs two and a half hours (so you know you’re not being cheated in terms of content). If this is not the best scene in the movie it’s a very close second (there’s one that might be better that I’ll describe later). They’re laughing up a storm all the while. I think Devoe is ticklish somewhere between her legs, because it seemed that every once in a while when Slayer would touch her there, she would break out giggling.

All the scenes are filmed at what I would surmise is Slayer’s house or at least his base of operations. It’s a big house and let me tell you, Devoe and Slayer use practically every inch of it. They start of at the mini-bar, and before they’re through, they’ve fucked each other upstairs, downstairs, on the couch, standing up, on the floor, on the bar, by the bar, by the sliding patio doors, etc. Their scene is so good, they had to add more minutes of bonus fucking footage to the Phatty DVD extras.

Then comes CeCe who is an absolute classic black beauty. The moment I saw her, I thought of the actress that played Cleopatra Jones (her name escapes me right now) in those 70s blaxpoitation movies; just a young fine, caramel honey. Her booty isn’t as big as Devoe‘s, but it’s just perfect. (To tell you the truth, Devoe’s ass is a little to big to fit me. If it were me in a scene, I’d prefer Cece’s more manageable behind.)

She’s a little young - 18 I think I heard - so she’s not as charming or sophisticated as Devoe. But with her insanely luscious lips and her all-natural full breasts, she’s the finest sista in Phatty Girls. That’s just my opinion. The sex in this scene is up to par, but that might have more to do with Slayer’s energy. Yes, he’s in every scene, but he brings it each and every time. I ain’t mad at him.

And then there’s Lori Alexia…Mmm, mmm, mmm. I just love this girl. She’s my favorite performer in Phatty Girls and one of my favorite pornstars overall period. And I don’t know why. I mean, she’s not always the prettiest girl in the room, nor does she have the most junk in her trunk, she doesn’t have the best figure, and - while she’s no slouch - she’s not the absolute best performer. There’s just something about her...

She has this great smile and all this confidence, and she’s sweet and bubbly (not annoyingly so) as all get-up. Moreover, she’s won more awards in her young career than 99 % (don’t quote me on that number) of all adult entertainers, in terms of feature dancing and being Miss Nude USA. So the girl has skills. But if you watch Phatty Girls 5 , you wouldn’t need me to tell you that: she does hand stands, back flips, and full splits like nobody’s business.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I think Alexia is going to be the biggest thing in black porn. Maybe as big as Ebony Ayes (trying to think of the most famous black female star in porn history) ever was.

The fourth scene features Koffee Cakes (I hope I’m spelling that right) and Slayer. And remember what I said about Devoe’s ass? Well her ass makes Devoe’s look like a size zero; it’s that gynormous. I don’t know what her middle initial is, but I’m guessing that it’s “D”, and that the D stands for “Dayyyyyummmmmm...”

She’s not really my type - other than her too-big assets (*clears throat*), her hair is too short for my liking. But Slayer handles her also with aplomb.

Last and most certainly not least are Tia Sweets and Yazmene Milan. If you looked up the word “jailbait” in the encyclopedia, there’s a joint picture of these two along with their bios. I mean these girls are young and fresh and adorable, with the cutest little round tushes you ever did see. (The previous women had “asses.” These two only seemed to have “tushes,” for lack of a better word.)

Yazmene is a Middle Eastern honey that’ll make you want to pick up and move to Iraq after taking one look at her face; she’s that beautiful. And Tia is - I was trying so hard to avoid this cliché, but what the hell - one sweet Latina.

So Slayer calls in one of his buddies for back up (and for moral support, I’m sure :)), and both of them do these girls right. And there is a good amount of lesbian action here for those of you interested. Though you kind of wish there were more… Still, this scene is 1A in terms of being the best in Phatty Girls 5 (with Devoe-Slayer being 1B).

And - not that anyone rents or buys skin flicks solely for the soundtrack - the background and intro (when the girls first are introduced) music is beyond decent. The best way I can describe it is smooth and not overbearing. Again, that just might be a view based on my own personal tastes.

So while I probably should be giving Phatty lesser marks for the fact that there is no anal, and the locale is the same, and Slayer is in every scene which gives all of them a small sense of repetition, I would still give this movie my highest recommendation.

And just a word about the anal aspect: I was at first a little disappointed that none of these women took it up the butt in any one of their fine asses. But, according to one of the trailers in the extras, Slayer has an alternate line of films titled Black Women Get Freaky Too . And in that line, the women do anal, DP (double penetration), ass-to-mouth, snowball, etc. So that vindicated Phatty Girls in my eyes in a sense , knowing that there was a method to his madness in terms of the way he works, the way he groups his scenes for production and release, and the way he selects his DVD titles.

To sum up, every single women in Phatty Girls 5 is either charming, sweet, sophisticated, bootylicious, or just drop-dead gorgeous. I’ll say it one better: almost every single woman is a combination of two or more of these traits. So for just about everything that this movie promises, it delivers on - in spades.

Phatty Girls #5

Wanted, By Hook or By Crook!

I signed up for the WantedList.com rental program, and have yet to receive my adult DVDs. I have porn flicks to watch and review, and I was supposed to write a review for yesterday’s entry.

Granted, I just signed up for the program on Monday and it’s only been about four days (yesterday, Veteran‘s Day, was technically a holiday so no mail was delivered) but still…I’ve gotten so spoiled from my recent membership to Netflix, I expect my DVDs to get to me by the next day (they actually get your movies to you by the very next day!).

And I understand that Netflix is more of a mainstream DVD joint, and they have distribution centers across the country. But the adult DVD program I usually go with, Sugar DVD - which happens to be one of my affiliate sponsors, I believe in them that strongly - only takes about 2 days to get you your movies.

I’d have to say SugarDVD is one affiliate program I don’t regret promoting. Now if I could just get many, many other people to see things my way…

Pornstar News: Darling Nikki

This is just a post to let all you pornstar fans know that Nikki Nova was in a terrible accident - she fell off a horse - the other day, and it landed her in the Intensive Care Unit. For more on her condition, or to support her in her time of need, follow the below link.
Get Well Nikki.
All the best to her.

Adult Affiliate Programs: My Blue Heaven and Hell

This is getting ridiculous. I’ve had well over 1200 hits for my Pimproll affiliate program and NO sales. Maybe it’s the banner I’m using on the message boards. I’m primarily promoting Mandy’s Diary , a Pimproll solo girl site. Maybe it’s not so much the affiliate program but the site itself. I’d always thought that solo girl sites, where the girl sometimes chooses to pose with a few girlfriends now and then but the site is basically softcore, did well. I guess I’ll have to revise that sentiment.

That being said concerning solo girl sites, it’s still no secret - and it’s been this way for a while - that both amateur porn and young/teen porn do well as niches in the adult industry. I guess that only pertains to those niches hardcore varieties.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think hardcore is making a comeback. Not that it ever left, but it seems to be preferred far and away by a lot more people these days. I have heard guys complain quite a bit lately (and I myself have had this gripe on occasion), wondering what the big deal is with all the lesbian porn. On the other hand, consider the fact that Jenna Jameson - who mostly does lesbian shoots nowadays since she’s been married - garnered over 1.4 million searches in the Overture search tool in recent months. Then again, that might just be her…

Speaking of The Jenna, I signed up for her affiliate program JennaCash way back in March of this year. But it wasn’t only because of how big she was per se (although I did think just her name alone would be good for a handful of click-throughs and sign-ups for the star factor), but because of all of the other big name porn stars under her label: e.g. Tera Patrick, Jill Kelly, Briana Banks, Gina Lynn. And she continues to sign up big name adult stars all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s got some good content; from what I’ve seen, they do some first-class things over at ClubJenna. But the bottom-line is just not there for me in terms of sales. Part of me thinks it’s a (erroneous as it is) perception that she, along with those other top starlets, doesn’t have exclusive content. After all, you can find tons of free pics and movie clips of Jameson, Patrick, Kelly, etc just by googling their names. But there is some exclusive stuff in those pornstars’ members’ areas, things you will not find anywhere else on the net. Trust me because I myself have been known to sign up for trial memberships in the past in order to evaluate a website for review.

So at this point I’m thinking maybe exclusive content is where it’s at these days as far as affiliate programs go. Another case in point, look at the Bangbros network. For those who don’t know (which means you must be relatively new to internet porn), Bangbros is a company that runs a host of adult niche websites (from those concerning big tits to those concerning mature women), and from what I know all their content is 100% exclusive. All their content is shot only for their websites. And you will not find any of their content under any other domain name (unless it’s being done illegally) that is not in their network. From what I’ve heard, they’re raking the money in hand over fist down there at Bangbros headquarters in Florida.

And as much as I’d like to throw my main affiliate program PECash (my very first sponsor and the reason that I’m in this adult business in the first place) under the bus as well, they’re the only ones that garner any conversions for me at all. Even if it is once in a blue moon. Then again, that might be just because their links are plastered on every single page of my site. You know the old saying: “Even a blind squirrel/link finds a nut/sale once in a while.”

I admit that part of my lack of sales is directly my own fault: I’d said in a previous post that it would probably be a good idea to sign up for the Hustler affiliate program. After all, they have a lot - if not total - exclusive content. Now Playboy, you might expect, also has mostly exclusive content. But Hustler, unlike Playboy, brings the hardcore stuff. All I know is Playboy recently reported dwindling magazine sales.

I was thinking of boosting their visibility (read, more Playboy banners) on my site, but after that bit of news I’m thinking what’s the point?

I, at one point, had thought that the lack of ethnic diversity - e.g. blacks, Asians, Hispanics - was why the Playboy affiliate wasn’t doing so well. Let’s face it, Hugh Hefner’s idea of cultural diversity is a brunette with brown eyes and small breasts. But the lack of cultural diversity hasn’t seemed to hurt Hustler’s online presence in the least. Plus, the two sponsors that I promote the most, Pimproll and one called Fetish Hits, have diversity coming out of their asses but it hasn’t done me any good in terms of sales. Those two programs each have a site for every niche you can imagine, including some niches you didn’t know existed.

One affiliate program genre that I’ve neglected is the adult dating / live online chat / phone sex genre. Sure I’ve always had a live chat banner or two up, but not in a place of prominence. I’m trying to fix that by recently signing up with the AdultFriendFinder program, an adult dating sponser you may have seen just about all over the place on adult sites. They’re like the Google Adwords (who don’t allow porn sites to sign up) of the adult website community, i.e AFF pays you just to send click-throughs in their direction. From my traffic analysis so far, the way they credit you for those clicks is a little suspect and doesn’t seem to be all that they promised. But they are still paying you just for the traffic, whether it be blind or targeted. What other reputable site is going to do that for your adult site? No really, if anyone has any ideas, I‘m open to suggestions…

I’ve been following alot of the business news concerning high-tech/gadget porn; you know, porn on cell phones, porn on the Playstation portable (PSP) device, and porn on iPods. From all that I’ve read, as it stands now, Europeans are far and away ahead of porn mongers in this country insofar as mobile phone adult subscriptions. I’ve been doing some research (okay, I saw their ad and I remembered that they had a good reputation) , and Xobile looks promising as a sponsor that provides adult content for cell phones.

There are a handful of companies in Japan that are producing porn content on the Universal Media Disc (UMD), which is the PSP disc format. I don’t know of any companies State-side that do it (they might exist, but they’re just underground right now). But since PSP porn hasn’t really caught on yet, it’s probably not worth my time to look into a UMD porn content affiliate. Or maybe I should get in on the ground floor…

On the other hand, I think iPod porn is going to be very profitable. Even though Apple Computer Inc. - the maker of the iPod - washes its hands of and publicly frowns on those who would produce porn content for their hardware (much like the folks at Sony Entertainment in regards to their PSP), it’s only a matter of time before iPod downloaded porn is everywhere. Adult content availability is only as extensive as that of the medium the content is on, and right now iPods are selling like hotcakes.

If you’re an adult webmaster and are ever at a loss for some good affiliate programs, go to Xbiz.com or AdultWebmasterHangout.com for ideas.

This time I’ll follow up on those prospective good affiliates. I promise.

Pornstar Info: Ron Jeremy, a Master (de)bater

You gotta love Ron Jeremy, especially if you’re in the adult industry. The guy’s so famous, he’s a porn ambassador now, if you will.

He had a debate (I always knew the time around Election Day was notorious for debates, but this is ridiculous) with Susan Cole, an author and a personal friend of his, down in Texas. From what I’ve read, it seems that the two enjoy a little friendly debating every now and then. Nothing personal; just a little healthy discourse between two individuals who come down on either side of the pornography issue (Cole thinks porn is unethical and demeaning to women). I can’t say who won, but I’m sure Jeremy held his own.

Like I said, leave it to the most famous male - er - face (what part of the body did you think I was going to say?) in porn history to stick up for the industry in a way that only he can. Whatever else you may say about his appearance, sexual performance or sexual prowess, at least he’s very vocally supportive about who he is and what he does.


Photo courtesy of The ShortHorn Online

And while I’m on the subject of Jeremy, I had this idea some time ago for an adult reality gameshow called Who Wants to be a Pornstar? that was to be hosted by him. It turns out - and I had no idea of it at the time I thought of the concept - that there actually was a contest of the same name that occurred at a radio show in Texas. Not only that, guess who hosted the contest? The Hedgehog himself, Jeremy!

Porn DVD Review: Seymore Butts' Family Business - 2nd Season

This is basically a review of the Showtime series Family Business, since the DVD is just a direct import of Season 2 of the series to this format. So if you’ve seen the show on Showtime, there’s nothing new for you to learn here. This review is for people like myself who had never seen the show at all, or had seen very little of it.

Even though I’d never watched the show up until now, obviously - promoting the adult industry myself - I’d heard of it. But I somehow thought that Family Business was a drama along the lines of 6 Feet Under, and that the folks were all playing characters. You know, a family involved in the porn business vs. the funeral business.

Well, as I soon found out, while this is a show where the family is involved in porn, the participants are all playing and being themselves. Great, I initially thought, Another celebrity reality show. Be still my beating heart.

Nothing against Seymore Butts (aka Adam Glasser). As a matter of fact, I (along with most people who see the show) would tend to root for the guy for several reasons: his business sense is very acute; the ups and downs he goes through rival that of the owner of any “normal“ business; his mother is constantly on his case about finding the right girl, etc. He is the highlight of Family Business , in my opinion. Other than the consistent stream of performing porn stars that make appearances throughout the series. So actually, the porn stars are number one in my book, but you get my drift. He’s a very compelling guy and it’s hard to hate him. Dare I say it, you almost want to be him on many occasions.

The show’s regulars include Bishop who is Butts’ production manager (I think) and the resident prankster; he keeps things light in the working environment. Cousin Stevie is - to hear he himself tell it - actually a cousin to Butts’ father. He (Stevie) is kind of intense, patience is not his strong suit, but in the end he’s a well-intentioned, fun-loving guy.

Then there’s Butts’ mother, Lila, who seems to be very understanding considering what her son does for a living. All I know is that if I did what he does, my mother might accept it, but she’s not going to be that involved in its inner workings. I guess my Mom’s just old-fashioned that way. :)

And last but not least is Brady, Butts’ son. What is the deal with the kid, anyway? I know he’s understandably an integral part of his father’s life, but he seems out of place in Family Business . Even though he’s a little kid, you can’t tell me he doesn’t know weird things (porn shoots to us grown-ups) are happening underneath the roof he’s living (“Daddy, why does the sofa smell funny?”). After all, Butts actually has the starlets come to his place of residence for his shoots. It’s a little uncomfortable seeing this 6 year old in this otherwise sexually-charged atmosphere that is the porn industry.

But as much as they’re all basically good people, I just don’t care to see Cousin Stevie take acting lessons. Or see Butts go out on blind dates arranged by his mother. (And while on the subject of his mother, how can Butts constantly complain about his mother being nosy about his love-life when he’s the one that has her involved in his Family Business anyway? If Butts lets her into one aspect of his life, she’s going to want to be involved in most aspects of it.)

When I used to like reality shows (before they got overdone to death), it was the Survivor-type series that appealed to me. You know, where there were many personalities coming together and clashing. There just aren’t enough series regulars here (the afore-mentioned five, to be exact) to hold my interest; and for the most part, they all get along famously anyway. How boring is that?

Other than not working for me on a reality-TV basis, Family Business didn’t have enough titillation for me either. Maybe because I’ve been a fan of HBO reality shows like G-String Divas , Real Sex , and Cathouse. There’s just something about these latter shows that do gratuitous sex shots just right. So for the average fan looking for some boobage, those shows do it much better than Family Business . That being said, there’s still plenty of female flesh to go around in Butts’ show.

The series is not lacking for well-known pornstars sometimes baring a little, sometimes baring much more: stars such as Alexis Amore, Mason, Belladonna, Avy Scott, Flower Tucci, Kiki Daire (maybe not so well-known, but she‘s one of my favorites), Alicia Rhodes, Katja Kassin, Jesse Jane, etc. If you are a porn star fan like myself, you’re bound to find someone you recognize or really like.

The problem I have in writing this review is that, although I - as a fan of porn stars - would see the Family Business series if someone told me what it was about ahead of time, I’m not sure the average adult fan would want to see it. So even though I would see it for the parade of starlets, I can’t go overboard in recommending it to the lay fan (er, the pun wasn’t intended but it’s funny just the same) for such a reason.

I don’t want it to come across as if I’m thrashing the series, because there are some genuinely funny, laugh-out-loud moments here. Not to mention the fact that the entire Family Business season ends on a good note (at the conclusion of the tenth and last episode), and I’m not going to give that ending away. Nevertheless, a wholesome ending to a tale about the adult industry may be far more than a viewing audience has any right to expect, see, hope for, or anticipate continuing. Enjoy it while you can.

Seymore Butts' Family Business - Second Season