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Monday, October 31, 2005

Witch's Tits

Happy Halloween, everyone!

It's scary how good Krystal Steal looks in her costume. Enjoy!



For more of her pics, see here.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Sex Toy Info: Hum-drum vibrators thrown a Curve

If you’re into sex toys that are personally endorsed by or carry the name of porn stars, then look no further than Jenna Jameson’s Curves vibrator. I’m hearing a lot about it. Maybe the fact that the biggest adult starlet in the world lends her name to it might have something to do with all the publicity.

But it claims to be multi-speed, it’s waterproof, it looks nice and stream-lined (hence the name ,Jenna Jameson’s Curves), and - unlike the Lelo Golden Vibrator which I previously touched on - it’s not expensive at all.

Jenna Jameson’s Curves vibrator
Jenna Jameson’s Curves vibrator

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Porn DVD Review: Inside Deep Throat

I started to write the review on Inside Deep Throat then I realized it was getting entirely too long. The reason for that was since this is a documentary, almost every single commentary made in the film - it seemed to me - deserved it’s own book of analysis; and I was only too willing to oblige in that respect. But there are a few important points I'd like to bring up concerning the movie, and the rest of the film you'll have to watch for yourself.

To begin with, the actual Inside Deep Throat movie (not counting the DVD extras) is about an hour and a half long. It's a documentary - as you might have guessed - that showcases a wide array of people of certain renown who provide commentary on the movie. People who themselves are very vocal in their social commentary.

This is because, as Inside Deep Throat (and I'll do my best not to be confusing insofar as referencing the original Deep Throat movie versus its documentary) is very adept in pointing out, the mainstream appeal of the original movie among normal everyday people and Hollywood celebs alike remains unparalleled in the history of adult flicks. As a matter of fact, the very people who you would not expect to be an audience to this film were: old ladies, middle-aged middle-class housewives, graduates of prestigious Ivy League schools, etc.

I thought one one old lady in particular summed up the fundamental issue concerning Deep Throat best. In case you didn't know, the original movie set off a firestorm among litigators and defense attorneys, and also among political conservatives and political liberals alike. In stating her personal opinion, the elderly woman said that what should bother the typical, First-Amendment-savvy American more than anything else is not so much the movie itself but the inherent right to see the movie.

I thought Inside Deep Throat did a good job in pointing out just how conservative the sexual climate in America was in the early 70s, and how it had been like that for as long as people could remember. And it was in this climate that Deep Throat, along with its radical concept of being a film based mainly on oral sex, made its shocking debut.

And sexuality in the country certainly wasn't enhanced by the Nixon administration; far from it. It’s funny how the government that was in power at the time of Deep Throat was similar to today’s government. Both are/were extremely conservatively Republican (of course) and answer(ed) predominantly to the Christian Right. Both administrations are/were in their second term which [is not going / didn’t go] so well. And both are/were supporting a war in which the United States has/had no business being in, and are/were confronting enormous public criticism for being in them. Yet the administrations somehow find/found a way to make the elimination of smut one of their (if not the) top priorities.

However (to throw the Department of Justice a bone here), and as most people would suspect is true even to this day, the criminal underworld did have a dominant hand in the production of adult “stag” films in Deep Throat’s era. So as much of a legal target as the movie was for its on-screen content, it certainly didn‘t help matters that the movie‘s financial backers attracted the attention of law enforcement all by themselves.

Inside Deep Throat goes on to talk about the lives, trials, tribulations, and experiences of those players at the core of the original film. As you might expect, Linda Lovelace (the star), Harry Reems (the "actor"), and Gerard Damiano (Deep Throat's director) were at the center of their movie's political, social, and legal firestorm in the 70s.

Ms. Lovelace, God rest her soul, struck me as someone who went the way the wind blew her. As the director Damiano points out, he perceived her to be content on the set of the movie. When the time came for her to go to Hollywood to become a star she seemed to be on board with the idea. But then when it became fashionable to be a feminist and protest pornography as degrading to women, she was right there in front of the Meese Commission in 1986. Now, one may say she had a change of heart, except for the fact that she later did a layout for an adult magazine just months before she died.

And trust me when I say that I’m not pooh-poohing her claims that she, figuratively-speaking, had a gun to her head during the entire time that she was making the movie. But, like I said, when Ms. Lovelace did eventually drop the guy that had allegedly gotten her into the lifestyle, she did take up with another - although less threatening - guy in the business of her own volition. The extent to which she was coerced to do Deep Throat I leave to you to decide.

One final note FYI (for your info) or just as a mild warning, the NC-17 version of Inside Deep Throat contains explicit sex (taken from its subject matter of course). But as far as I can tell, the only reason it has this rating is for those one or two specific scenes that made the original film famous (I think you know which scenes I’m talking about). If the Inside Deep Throat producers had left those one or two references out, the documentary would probably have garnered a more youth-friendly rating, thus allowing it to be seen by much more people.

But the makers thought that it was important to show those scenes unedited and uncut, just to show people who hadn’t seen the original Deep Throat what all the fuss was about. And they made that decision knowing fully well that that decision would eventually cut into their bottom-line profit, so I have to commend them for it. Because there’s a big difference between an R rating and an NC-17 rating.

In summary, if you are a student of the history of porn cinema, you owe it to yourself to see not only Inside Deep Throat but Deep Throat itself. Even Mary Carey would agree to that.



Deep Throat
My Review of Deep Throat

Friday, October 21, 2005

AOE - Adult Online Europe - Erotic Event in Amsterdam is calling!

AOE - Adult Online Europe - The biggest Erotik Affiliate
Exhibition in Amsterdam is calling!

If you have a website of your own or intend to open a new
homepage in order to earn money with it, this adult online
business fair with it´s seminars and training courses shall be
interesting to you.

Here´s all what Webmasters need to boost their revenues in adult
website promotion, adult webtools, knowledge, the experts...

AOE is taking place in Amsterdam, Holland from 16.-18. November
2005. Stay tuned about the biggest Adult Industry Networking
Event in Europe. The AOE takes place in Amsterdam and you should
make sure that you don't miss it.

Meet your business partners and make tons of new contacts. Learn
about what's new and educate yourself by taking advantage of all
the Seminars and Workshops. Visit the AOE Site and get more
Information.

This comprehensive series of presentations, workshops, panel
discussions and industry forums, features expert speakers from
leading international businesses across the value chain.

Highlighting market trends, technology updates, billing
developments, regulatory and legal issues within the hottest
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There are lots of workshops and seminars, and most important of
them seem to be:

> Maximising revenues from adult services

> Generating traffic and marketing content

> The next generation of adult services

> VOD (Video on Demand) & Content Libraries

> Case Study Europe

AOE seems to be the right place for webmasters who are in or
are interested to enter into the profit loaded adult business
and partner in as an affiliate to one of the leading
international erotic partnerprogrammes.

For more information visit: http://www.sexmoney.com/?adsid=63629.



About the author:
Marcel Cobs is author for http://www.homepage-building.com and
specialist in affiliate programmes and affiliate networks for
webmasters and homepage owners that want to earn money and
profits with their websites.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Donation Plea

This posting is not so much an informative entry but a plea to those who have a bona fide interest in the adult industry. Let me just start off by saying that I do not work for the FSC nor am I even a member. But please give a little to the Free Speech Coalition: they’re currently fighting the onerous new provisions of Statute 2257.

The FSC has been waging their fight since the latter half of June when the new regulations of the statute came into effect, but I bring this point up now in light of two events:

1. The recent announcement of that organization that they’re currently in their second phase of fundraising efforts to combat their mounting court costs and legal fees.
2. The willingness on the part of the primary backer of the Children’s Safety Act of 2005 to compromise on a certain section of his pending bill. The section in question would subject the mainstream movie industry to the same record-keeping requirements imposed on adult content producers.

In case you didn’t know (or follow up its definition in the above link), Title 18 Statute 2257 of the U.S. Code requires that certain documentation verifying the age and identity of all individuals involved in sexually explicit pornographic (up until now at least) depictions exist and always be on hand for inspection.

I’m not going to reiterate the reasons why the application of 2257 - not necessarily the theory behind it - is not all it’s cracked up to be as far as the adult industry is concerned (I‘ve commented extensively on 2257 in the past). Moreover, if you read the above mentioned article, you’ll see why it’s not such a good idea for the mainstream film industry either. The bottom-line is 2257, as it currently stands, must be challenged.

So, if you can spare a couple of shekels, throw ‘em the FSC’s way. After all, they are fighting not only for the rights of those that produce sexuality, but also for the First Amendment rights of the average Joe to view it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Porn DVD Review: Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre

Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre - 3 DVD Box Set I watched Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre (that’s a mouthful I will not be saying often) the first time and I thought it was kind of below par. I mean some of the sex scenes are good (and I’ll get into that a little later), but something was missing. Then I realized that I had built up such unrealistic expectations concerning this movie and how it would play out, I just didn’t get it.


First of all, there are so many porn super stars in Camp Cuddly Pines, the cast reads like a who’s-who of performers on the list of “people who do not have a Vivid contract.” So right off the bat, I was thinking, “The more big stars, the merrier.” But alas, that wasn’t the case (at least it wasn’t in my first sit through): a truth that even mainstream Hollywood studios recognize.

Second of all, I expected Camp Cuddly Pines to play out as a straight horror film along the lines of Friday the 13th . The problem is the performers are porn actors and they don’t have the chops to play the roles straight-laced. So they can’t accurately portray the fear, rage, frustration, and (momentary) relief of people in their unique predicament.

So I watched the whole movie again and tried not to take it so seriously. Better…

And that’s how you have to take Camp Cuddly Pines - like a pornographic version of the movie Scream. You know, suspenseful but campy (not a pun at all) all the same. As a matter of fact, the movie spoofs several horror movies and genres from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and the new millennium. So if you’ve watched any decent amount of modern slasher/horror flicks - as I have - you’ll be able to pick out those mainstream movies that “inspired” the movie’s makers. Even if you don’t know specifically what horror film a particular scene is sampled from, in the back of your mind you‘ll be thinking, “This setup looks kind of familiar…”

But really, the characters have sex at the drop of a hat even in the most grisly of atmospheres. So what the heck was I thinking taking the movie so seriously in the first place? When you take Camp Cuddly Pines in a not-so-serious context, certain performers actually shine in their roles.

Randy Spears gives, hands-down, the best performance. He plays an over-the-top hick policeman whose been called in to investigate mysterious goings-on at the camp. Now that’s how you act in a campy horror film!

Porn legend Mike Horner plays the resident horror film character who is, although very weird and creepy, basically harmless. Or is he (*suspense music plays*)?

And Stormy Daniels plays a ditzy blond chick who prances (actually, the correct word is “bounces“: check out those boobs, man) around as clueless as all can be in her short little skirt, her tight little sweater, her 6-inch high heels, and with her baby-doll golden locks. I kind of wished they shot most of Camp Cuddly Pines in broad daylight so that I could have seen more of her. But, that wouldn’t have made much sense for this kind of movie, would it? :)

The movie is kind of long for a porn feature film: two and a half hours. The ten - count ‘em 10 - sex scenes (interwoven with the plot, of course) might have something to do with that. The movie producers could have pared that number down to a manageable six or seven, given the fact that most of the sex scenes are basically the same - other than the locales, of course.

When I review a movie, I usually go through every sex scene, giving the highlights of each. But, to avoid repeating myself and being redundant (did you get that joke?), I’ll just describe the framework of a typical tryst in Camp Cuddly Pines now, and point out the better scenes by name as I go.

Basically, your typical scene involves a blowjob, followed almost too quickly by either regular cowgirl or (mostly) reverse cowgirl; throw in a doggy-style every now and then for some variety. The next thing you know, here comes the pop-shot. Don’t any of the male talent in this movie eat pussy? And what happened to the anal? I have news for you folks, there’s almost no anal in Camp Cuddly Pines - it’s barely there.

The first sex scene is good (as most initial scenes in skin-flicks are. You‘ve got to grab the viewer from the start. ). Daniels, Tommy Gunn, Jessica Drake, and Voodoo hook up in two two-somes in the back of their schlepping van. There’s just something naughty and hot about sex in a van. Besides, there’s not that many positions you can do in a vehicle other than cowgirl and missionary anyway, so this scene gets a pass somewhat.

The third scene in Camp Cuddly Pines involves Manuel Ferrera who is “attacked” (*guffaw*) by four female mental patients (don’t ask): Rebecca Luv, Katja Kassin, Taryn Thomas, and Rita Faltoyano. Poor guy winds up stacking the girls on top of each other (again, watch the film), but manages to do them all right in the end. You really ought to see a guy shoot cum onto four women kneeling in a semi-circle in front of him. It’s like a 180-degree lawn-sprinkler system.

And speaking of “doing them in the end,” I was shocked that not one of the girls take it up the butt here. As a matter of fact, the moment I saw my girl Katja, I felt almost sure that there was going to be some anal. Imagine my shock and dismay (*laying it on thick*) watching the scene end with no anal! I practically flew of my jerking-off lounge chair screaming, (*laying it on even thicker*) “This is an outrage!”

That being said, this is still the best sex scene in Camp Cuddly Pines. Here’s a case where the more-equals-merrier axiom actually applies.

There’s a scene in the movie where actress Cherokee plays a, um, Native American spirit. (And how long did it take the movie’s casting director to fill that role? Two seconds? :)) It would have been tres cool if the makers had left her “aura” around her for her whole sexcapade with Gunn. Oh well…

Fast forward to the final sex scene, which I only mention to make a point. When Keri Sable and Eric Masterson get together, he dps (double penetrates) her with his own dick and a hand-held jelly dildo. That, my friends, is the extent of the anal in Camp Cuddly Pines. And really, she takes a dildo in the butt so that only counts as half an anal.

So, basically there are ten whole scenes in the movie with only half an anal. That’s one of the reasons I wouldn’t give this movie a better review; the other reason being the lack of female stimulation (read pussy-eating).

Because for the most part, the girls are all gorgeous (again, a special shout out goes to Miss Daniels), and there’s more than enough saline and silicon boobage to go around (enough to make both an ocean and it’s beach jealous). And most of the starlets - and men too - deserve hazard pay for all the rough locales and natural habitats that they have to have sex on. They’re having sex on the floor of the woods, on a rock, on the top portion of a well built of blocks (although, if you watch one of the many Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre - 3 DVD Box Set extras, the commentary tells you that the well-top is a fake).

Don’t you agree about the hazard pay? No? Oh well, fuck it. They have sex for a living, that’s compensation enough...

Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre

Friday, October 14, 2005

Titillating Titles

I wrote an entry earlier about how certain porn movie titles fascinate me to a degree. Here is my countdown of 15 recent DVD monikers that just make me scratch my head.

15. American Cocksucking Championship : Boy, these 4th of July contests are getting waaay out of hand.
14. Al Goldstein & Ron Jeremy Are Screwed : In Jeremy's case, over 5000 times.
13. Grand Theft Anal : Because life isn’t all about fun and video games; it’s about porn too.
12. Beauty And The 14" Beast : Go ahead and watch the movie; be our guest.
11. Affirmative Action : Because nothing says civil rights and reparations like black men sticking it (literally) to white women.
10. Czech's In The Male (gay): I also hear a Greeced Pole is held in high ass-teem.
09. 1st Cum 1st Serve : Oh waiter, we're ready for dessert. I'll have the ice cream and my girlfriend will have the creampie.
08. DP2 The Mighty Phucks : You're all invited to the home-cumming game.
07. DILF (gay): We all know the phrase "Mom I'd Like to Fuck." But how far are we going to take this ILF acronym? Now there's one for Dads, Grannies (GILF), one-legged hookers (OLHILF). Okay, I made the last one up but you get the point.
06. Are You Down With Brown? (anal): Damn straight. And I’m tight with pink, too.
05. The British Are Cumming : Maybe the blue coats need to take a page out of the book of the red coats. Maybe then they wouldn’t be so blue.
04. I Want To Fuck You In The Bathroom : Just try asking the female clerk for this title by name at your local adult video store. Talk about a “Punk’d” moment...
03. An Army of Cum : In other words, we’re looking for a few good sperm.
02. Tiny Chicks Sure Can Fuck : Be sure to look out for the sequel, Big Girls Sure Give Good Head.
01. Who Let the Whores Out? : Well, don’t look at me, I just got here...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Sex Toy Info : Gold Rush

May I have your attention, please…

Introducing the most expensive vibrator in the world: the Lelo Golden Vibrator. Don’t get this confused with the most expensive sex toy in the world - not the sybian or fucking machine, but any of Hugh Hefner’s current girlfriends (plural).

But (semi-) seriously folks, is the 18 karat gold-plate really necessary? Usually something of that karat-weight is an item you’d want to show off to company and friends. Now unless, as a woman, you plan on displaying it at social events, you could have done just as well with and felt just as comfortable using cold aluminum.

At a price of $1500, it should come with a wedding band, and you should be able to wear that whole ensemble on your ring finger. Because if I were to get one for any lady of mine, that’s pretty much a proposal for us to get married and stay married for a very, very long time.

This sounds like a gift that would be bought by James Bond arch-villain Auric Goldfinger for his gold-painted girlfriend (to go along with the purchase of his gold-plated car and his solid gold golf clubs). This could be the beginning of a whole “King Midas” line of sex toys. Somehow, however, I don’t think the male fleshlight brand in the collection will sell as well.

The upside of all this is finally there is a vibrator up to the standards of the many celebrities who swear by these novelties. Certainly stars who love their adult toys, like Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria (pictured), can afford one, if not several (maybe one for every day of the week?). Although now that Miss Longoria has a boyfriend, she’s probably not as “desperate” for toys these days.

So Eva might want to send her vibrator(s) to Jenny McCarthy with a little hand-written note: “How‘s the love-life going, bitch?” :)

Eva LongoriaEva Longoria

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Hawaii Lay, Part III (of 3)

Steve inserted his tongue in and out of Lucy’s pussy in an even and repetitive stroking motion. He tongue-fucked her like he’d never done to any other woman before. Her syrupy cunt juices on his tongue were like sweet nectar.

He tugged her panties from her gloriously supple buttocks, all the way down past her thighs, knees, and calves to her ankles. Lucy, taking the hint, stepped out of her cotton briefs. Steve stood up from his squat position, impatiently but gently grabbing for her left hand. He pulled her up from her bent-over position and pulled her close to him. He dropped his mouth hungrily on hers, letting her sample the delicacies of her own essence. While kissing her, Steve ran his hands up the back of her thighs, and let his palms rest heavily on her buttocks. For a middle-aged woman, Lucy’s bottom was nice and toned. He suspected she did a lot of walking on the island.

Lucy didn’t know what was coming over her. There was his mouth locked down on hers, enveloping her in a torrent of passion. She suddenly felt very bold and aggressive. She wanted to tear this man’s clothes from his rock-solid body. As Lucy began to undo the buttons of his floral shirt, he back-pedaled towards the bed with her in tow, all the while remaining lip-locked. In a flash, he had removed his own pants and boxers and let them fall to the floor. Casually laying her down on the bed covers, he proceeded to hike her skirt over her head and take off her blouse. Even in her ardor, Lucy was keenly aware that her bra did not match her discarded panties.

He bent over her as she lay on her back, and begin to lick and softly suck on her exposed belly. As he moved his mouth up her body and toward her breasts, he passed the fingertips of one hand over both areolas and both nipples. He flicked his tongue in the valley between her breasts, while cupping the outside of each breast with one hand. Pressing her tits from the outside, he rubbed the inside of each one against the closest side of his face. Presently, he was suckling on her round mounds and light-chocolate-colored areolas. He had a particular fetish for the areolas of darker-complexioned Asian women.

He propped her bottom up with a pillow. He guided the head of his penis to the entrance of her vagina. He didn’t enter her just yet; he rubbed the head along her pussy lips. After a minute or two of this, Lucy wanted to scream at him to put it in. As if he could sense her anticipation, he finally inserted his penis a quarter of the way into her, very slowly. Pulling out just as slowly, he then entered her halfway. Steve continued his pattern of entering her by quarters and then withdrawing almost completely, until he had entered her all the way. Maintaining a slow rhythm, he alternated his thrusts with almost complete withdrawal.

While keeping up his rhythmic thrusts, he cottoned onto her right leg. He licked her from the back of her calf to her heel, ending with a kiss on the back of her foot. Steve sucked on her big toe. All the while, he never broke from his languid pace.

Lucy, in a fit of passion and also out of sheer habit, turned her head from side to side. Picking up the pace slightly, Steve bent down to kiss her behind the ear and on her gracefully exposed neck. Her fragrance was quite heady. He kissed her on the cheek. He kissed her full on her perfectly formed lips, while running his hand through her luxurious hair.

The frenzied way she whipped her head from side to side was getting to him. Lucy had some of the most beautiful cum faces Steve had ever seen. She was either a good actress or was thoroughly enjoying herself. It was probably a little of both, he reasoned. He loved seeing her breasts, with those light-chocolate-colored areolas, bouncing up and down in unison on her chest. But even more, he longed to borough his face in her hair between her shoulder blades; to see the dip and curvature of her strong spine; to see the pool of sweat collect in the small of her back; to see and feel the top of her backside slapping against his groin. Almost every aspect of the female form drove him wild. He couldn’t wait to enter her from behind.

Up until now, Lucy had only experienced sex with one man (she was a virgin when she got married). Efrin had been a little on the short side in terms of size. It was difficult for her to grasp the fact that she was making love to this man who was not her husband. This tall dark hunk of a man with his bigger than average member that seemed to be filling her petite body from the inside. Part of her was apprehensive of what he was doing to her tight, pert little vagina. Another part of her couldn’t care less; on the contrary, that other part of her wanted to be fucked faster than she‘d ever been fucked before, to be fucked downright better than she’d ever been fucked before. She wanted his precious cock to fill her up over and over again. She wanted to be stretched, both physically and mentally. She wanted to do crazy things with and to this man. Things she’d never dreamed of, much less done before.

Lucy was reminded of her love-making sessions with Efrin. They would do it either doggy-style or in the missionary position. When they were in the missionary position, she would have to look over either shoulder, and not look at him directly. But, sometimes she couldn’t help herself: she had to see the face of the man that was making love to her. She would look into Efrin’s face with the briefest of glimpses, then quickly shift her gaze to a point over either shoulder.

But even if he was caught up in the rapture of the moment, or concentrating on his own selfish technique, somehow he would always catch her glance. Then he would either give her a stern look, or make her assume the doggy-style position to avoid her scrutiny. Sometime either later in the day or the next morning, he’d give her the cold shoulder. During their twenty-year marriage, he’d always been self-conscious about his “performance” in the bedroom. If only Efrin had known how indifferent she’d often been…

Finally, Lucy’s curiosity got the better of her and she turned to peak at her lover behind her. Steve had a semi-focused , pleasurable expression on his face, as he tried to maintain his rhythmic thrusts. He caught her eye after a second as she peered at him. He gave her a droopy-eyed smile that she reciprocated. Then, as if reading her mind, he grabbed her shoulder-length hair and began to pull on it ever-so-gently. The pull didn’t cause her any pain or discomfort. It was just enough to create a subtle tugging on her scalp, which felt very erotic. It reminded her of the many hours, as a young woman, she used to spend brushing her hair (which used to be much longer) in front of the mirror.

The rhythmic slapping of his genitals against hers, coupled with the tickling sensation of her pussy-hairs, was proving too much for him. Steve could no longer contain himself. He had to pull himself out to avoid an “accident”. Are you crazy?, he asked himself, this is nirvana. Stay in, enjoy yourself, let yourself go. Reason won out, and in a split-second he had pulled out and aimed for the small of her back. He unloaded. A voice he barely recognized as his own could be heard moaning, as if in the distance. He fell face down onto the bed by her side. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close for a kiss.

That was one of the most explosive orgasms Steve had ever had, and it left him feeling a little guilty. He was usually more attentive to his partner’s needs during lovemaking. But, so caught up was he in the rapture of her sweet pussy , he’d totally forgotten about her pleasure. You idiot, he thought to himself, a woman can‘t come from intercourse alone. You should have played with her clit more, or fondled her breasts while you were doing her doggy-style.

Steve was already making a mental resolution that next time (please, he thought, let there be a next time), it would be all about her. He kissed her full on the lips, then looked at her with his best guilty puppy expression. To his slight amazement, she seemed to have a contented look in her eyes. A moment ago, he was about to apologize for his performance, and promise to make it up to her. Now , seeing that she was obviously pleased, he didn’t know what to say.

“Well, that was…..” he started.

“You don’t mind if i just look at you for a moment, do you?” Lucy interrupted.

Steve looked at her quizzically through drooping eyelids, trying to read her thoughts. Finally, he gave up.
“Not at all.” he said. With that, he kissed her again, this time on her forehead, and promptly went to sleep.

And for a long time, Lucy just watched him.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Porn DVD Review: Collision Course

Collision CourseUsually, when I review a movie I don’t like to start right on in with the complaints. But this time I’ve decided to get all of my beefs out of the way early and save the best - all the positive things, of which there are a lot - for last.

First of all, the music in Collision Course is brash and annoying and has to go. They crank the music way up at
the beginning of each scene for about the first 3-4 minutes. And even though they slow it down to a quiet roar as the scene gets going, it’s ever present in the background. Sometimes in porn movies I wish they’d just get rid of the background music altogether. I prefer to hear the smacking of lips, the moaning, the slapping of flesh against flesh, etc.

And what is up with all the color coordination? It’s all well and good for a woman to look nice, but why did Briana Banks’s and Tera Patrick’s bikinis have to match their boots and (gulp) eye make-up and - in some cases - their vibrators? You never realize how bad all that color coordination can be until the color in question is purple or dark blue or black. I mean, purple mascara just looks freakish.

On a postive note, and while I’m on the subject of looks, the blond thing really suits Briana. She looked okay with the red hair in a recent movie that I saw, Last Girl Standing, but she was born to be a blonde.

Collision Course reminds me of a Star Wars episode: every where you look in this movie it seems there is always something new to see. For example, have you ever seen a girl fucked up against a palm tree? I didn’t think so.

Another case in point: this movie was shot on the grounds of a house that seems to be way up in the hills. Not being familiar with California, I couldn’t tell you the exact location, but the vistas are great to look at just the same. To see the ocean in the distance and to look down into the lush green valley and the to peak at the clear blue sky…In certain shots it looked like the actresses were in space, that’s how high they were, and how lacking there was of any scenery at their eye level.

Basically , every scene is shot outside. So I hope you like outdoors sex.

Collision Course is a gonzo production (no plots or storylines whatsoever). That being said, you would think (at least I would anyway) that the movie’s producers would let the action build up before pitting the two stars (Tera and Briana) either in the end scene or as close to the end of the movie as possible. But no, they waste no time getting the two together. In the opening scene, the two gang up on Dillan Lauren in what I can only describe as a molestation. Guys in the real world go to jail for a very long time for shit like this.

Somehow (wink, wink) the girl gets tied up to a lounge chair by the pool, then they let those two loose on her. As I watched, Dillan reminded me of a roman prisoner in a coliseum before, while, and after the lions are released. And Briana with that sex-raving, maniacal gleam in her eye is just frightening. Poor girl never has a chance. :)

In the next scene, Briana and Ben English get it on on the front steps. She licks man-ass, (like I hinted at before) English fucks her in the ass up against a tree, Briana emits that yelping cry that she has; it’s all good.

Then comes Tera and hubby Spyder Jonez, a situation that I once said before lends itself to boring matrimony sex. At this point during Collision Course I was thinking it’s all going to be downhill from here: we (the viewers) have already seen the two stars of the film “collide.” Moreover, we’ve seen the energetic Ms. Banks in a boy-girl scene. But surprisingly, the Patrick-Jonez scene is not as bad as I thought it‘d be (and the movie takes an upswing later on, as I‘ll describe in a moment). I don’t know why, other than the fact that I may have just been horny at the time and anything would have turned me on when I was watching the scene. But seriously…

Now as you know, usually the camera(s) does not focus on the guy in a straight scene. And let me tell you, in this scene, you really appreciate that fact. I ask you, Is it possible to get any more tattoos on one man? Just the shots of his left hand on her body is distracting enough. It’s not just the fact that the back of that hand is totally covered, it’s the specific tattoo that‘s bothersome.

Why is this scene better than previous Patrick-Jonez sex in particular, and hubby-wife sex in general? Because, A, there’s a lot more oral. Patrick does a lot of what she does and loves best, which is fellatio, while Jonez bends her legs over her head and eats her out good and proper. He even pokes her in the ass (with his finger) while he’s eating her out for good measure.

B, Tera looks hot in her bikini and in her clear fuck-me heels which she wears into the scene; until the bottom of said bikini is removed and shoved into her mouth. So you don’t even mind (much) the whorish navy blue eye make-up. (Guess what color the bikini is?) And the third reason that this scene is atypically hot as far as Patrick-Jonez / married couples go is just the fact that it is, like I said, shot outside. Correction, it’s shot outside on a mattress, but hey, it’s a start.

So not only do you get all this other stuff to spice up an otherwise boring married pornstar sex, you also get one of the great things - which happens more times than not - about this brand of sex. The woman swallows! Way to go, Tera.

And by the way, is Tera going to be doing anal soon? The reason I ask is in her scenes, there are about 3 to 4 occasions when she takes a finger or dildo or tongue in her ass. Now in each instance it isn’t for a long time, but still, maybe she’s prepping for the day when she will one day do anal. One can only hope...Every other girl in Collision Course takes it up the butt though, whether that “it” is a dildo or a penis.

Enter Vanessa Lane, Otto Bauer, and Benjamin Brat for scene four. They start off normal enough. There‘s some kissing and some dick-suckin‘, followed by some single and double-fuckin’ (double penetration); with some ass-to-mouth thrown in for effect.

Then things start to get interesting. All three do dp standing up (something I‘ve never seen). From there she somehow winds up on her back, with both legs to the rear, each tricep touching the back of the corresponding knee, and her ankles crossed at some point 6 inches above her head (picture it). The next thing you know she’s literally bending over backwards to please these guys: she stands up and arches her back all the way until the upper half of her body is upside-down. All of this while sucking a mean dick and taking it in the ass.

And to top it all off (no pun intended), the position-de-resistance is...No, I’ve said too much already. I’ll let you discover that position on your own. Let’s just say the position involves a partial hand-stand. Needless to say, this entire scene of Collision Course is a definite must-see.

Ever wonder why guys who watch lots of porn get jaded and expect all sorts of sexual gymnastics from their significant others? Look no further than this scene.

The last scene is just Tera and Briana, (wo)mano a (wo)mano. The scene is hot and not just because it’s great to see two porn super-stars go at it. Even if these two were relative nobodies, the scene (and scenery) would stand on its own merit. However, it’s just more (or should I say “less” since they’re a girl short?) of what you saw in the first scene, and it‘s not as hot as the latter. In the end, both Banks-Patrick scenes provide nice bookends for the very competent and impact production that is Collision Course .

Collision Course

Friday, October 07, 2005

Pornstar Intervention?

On Thursday, Tyra Banxxx (the pornstar) actually appeared on her feet and in broad daylight on the daytime show of her namesake Tyra (supermodel) Banks. Apparently, Ms. Banks got wind of the porn star who looked like her and whose name sounded like hers and she wanted to get to the bottom of the matter.

Tyra Banks (left) with Tyra Banxxx


Long story short, while on the show, Banks offered to help Banxxx get a “legitimate” job if she (Banxxx) gave up her life of porn. In any event, Banks said she would sue Banxxx if the latter didn’t stop profiting from the host’s name recognition and looks. (As you can see from the pic, courtesy of EURweb , the two do resemble each other a lot.) So it’s not like the pornstar has much of a choice in her consideration of the host‘s offer.

This is good. I like this whole “mainstream celebrity meets adult industry alter-ego” hook-up. So here are some stories I want to hear or read about in the near future:

Britney Rears will be going out on tour with Britney Spears as one of the pop phenom’s back-up dancers; Cindy Crawford (the model) is looking to help Cindy Crawford (the pornstress) get a spokes model deal with the good folks at Pepsi; and Ariana Jollee gets adopted by Angelina Jolie. (I realize those latter two names aren‘t all that similar, but if you heard the name “Ariana Jollee” who is the first person you’d think of?)

And how does Banks threaten Banxxx to get her good name back, while Cindy Crawford the supermodel takes no action - legal or otherwise - against a pornstar with her exact same name? Unless I’ve missed something...

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Hawaii Lay, Part II (of 3)

Steve grew up an army brat. His father was stationed in Thailand after the Vietnam war as part of the United States attempt to monitor that region of the world after the end of hostilities. Although, Steve home-schooled for the first several years of his academic life, he was eventually enrolled in public school with the rest of the Thai children. While he was a very good student when he was tutored at home, his enrollment in public school at the age of 12 marked the end of any great scholastic achievement he might have ever attained.

This was all for one simple fact: he absolutely, positively, unquestioningly loved the opposite sex. As a younger boy, when other boys his age would not yet have been interested in girls, Steve would look out his bedroom window at the girls passing by on their way home from school. In his innocent way, he always thought they looked pretty. But once he was allowed to go to school with the rest of the children, he found that he really enjoyed just being around girls. He loved their attractive faces, the way they dressed , the way they talked, the way they smelled, the way they smiled at him. He just loved everything about them; he had to spend time with them.

As he grew to adulthood, his innocent pre-pubescent thoughts of admiration turned to more lustful ones. He was aware of how their once straight and comparatively boyish forms were filling out quite nicely. He was particularly fond of the female derriere. There was just something about the pert, little bottom of Asian women that he couldn’t resist. He longed to look up their school skirts and smell their virgin pussies. When he was 16, he even went as far as paying a Thai prostitute for the privilege of grabbing, feeling, and licking her ass while she gave him his first blowjob. Women were his life, there was simply no time for anything else, including schoolwork.

At about the time when Steve completed high school (he‘d barely scraped by and had repeated a year), his father was decommissioned from the army and his family returned to the States. His parents divorced soon after that. To please his father, whom he greatly admired, he applied to several colleges. He knew, however, his grades and academic records would make it difficult for any institution to accept him. After several of his applications were turned down, as he’d expected, he just gave up. Steve told his parents that he too was joining the army.

He continued to date but never had a steady girlfriend. Given the state of his parents’ dissolved union, he was not prepared to enter any long-lasting relationship whatsoever. Besides, the world was full of beautiful women who loved him just as much as he loved them.

Though Uncle Sam never did deploy him to the Orient as he would have hoped, Steve did have the semi-good fortune to be sent to Schofield Barracks on Oahu. Hawaii had a thriving Asian culture and population.

However, Steve did not tell Lucy all of this. Just the part about his family-life, his upbringing, his parents. He neglected to mention his fascination with women, or his sub-standard academic history. To hear him tell it, he joined the army just to emulate his father.

Following her meticulous directions, he pulled up outside of a one-story, single-wall, wood-framed house. A flash of thigh, and Lucy had opened the offside passenger door and climbed out; before he had a chance to get out and open it for her. She stood there at curbside and looked at him with a polite expression on her face.

“May I call you sometime?” he asked

Even though he had done more than his share of talking during the ride home, Lucy had liked the sound of his voice. It was cultured and neat. Moreover, she could use a man’s opinion and conversation every now and then. Though, she and Efrin were still on speaking terms, they didn’t talk much.

She pretended to think for a while. “On one condition. Tell me how you and Leo happened to ‘coincidentally’ bump into each other today.”

Steve chuckled softly. “Was it that obvious?”

“No, but she was.”

He, holding up both hands, feigning innocence, “It was all her idea, honest. I had nothing to do with it. How could I even know she had an eligible friend?”

Lucy, in mock surprise, “You would sell her out just to get my number? Is it that important to you?”

Now it was his turn to pretend to mull things over. “Ummm…yes, I guess I would.”
She gladly gave him her number.

Though Lucy was not entirely ready to jump back into the dating scene, she had thought about him since their first meeting. She wondered about all the places he’d been. She wondered about all the women he’d slept with. He probably had women left and right chasing him. But most of all she wondered about how it would feel to have his strong hands (or any man’s, for that matter) on her, or how it would feel to have him laying on top of her, kissing her face with his full lips.

It was during these times of fantasizing that she would sit on her plush, bedroom carpet facing her full-length mirror. She would spread her legs wide and massage her yearning clit right through her jeans or whatever pants she happened to have on at the time. She’d throw her head back and really get into it. Lucy would go at it until she was nice and wet. However, she always stopped short of making herself cum. Part of her didn’t know exactly how to get herself to that point (she’d only had a handful of orgasms in her experience, all quite by accident), while another part of her wanted to save that special moment for the real thing.

Since that initial meeting, he’d invited her out on several occasions.

“Lucy, I really enjoyed talking and sharing with you, and would like to see you again. Would you like to attend a wedding with me? A week from Saturday? It’s for one of my army buddies who’s finally getting married. I guess I‘m asking you to be my date.” He waited hopefully.

“Oh Steve, I’m so sorry, I can’t,” Lucy said. “I have a rotary club meeting that afternoon.” Which she didn’t.

“I see,” Steve replied. She sounded apologetic enough, but her response was too glib. Momentary pause, then “Well, another time maybe?” he said, forcing himself to sound upbeat.

“Sure…and thank you for the invite, really,” she said, trying to let him down gently.

That was two-and-a-half months ago. For a while, Steve thought that that “other time” was never going to happen. There was always a convenient yet plausible excuse. She was going to Honolulu International Airport to pick up her mother. (That was a lie, her mother hated to fly.) She and her separated husband were having dinner with old friends and wanted to put on a good appearance (another lie). Leonora invited her to tag along to a baby shower for one of her hospital co-workers. (Semi-true: that event actually happened but it wasn’t at the time of their projected rendezvous.)

Then one day, Lucy said yes. He had called her as he always did on Friday evening to find out how her week went. It was nearing the end of the conversation. He was about to wish her a pleasant night and hang up, when he threw out an invitation to her out of sheer habit.

“Hey Lucy, you wouldn’t happen to be doing anything tomorrow evening? We could catch the air show at Dillingham Airfield.”

“Okay,” she said.

Steve nearly fell out of the chair he was sitting on. He wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.
“I beg your pardon?”

“I said, yes, that would be lovely,” Lucy repeated, politely enough. Inwardly, she was laughing to herself. The boy must be in shock, she thought.

“Yeah, right, good enough…I mean, I’ll pick you up at - let’s see - 4? How does 4 sound? Pm, I mean.” Steve had momentarily been thrown for a loop. Later, when he’d hung up he got the distinct feeling she had been mocking him.

The air show was a blast, literally and figuratively. Once again, he could sense the chemistry and attraction between them: the same chemistry and attraction he’d felt at their first meeting, the only other time they’d talked face to face. Steve again couldn’t help staring at her smooth, golden-brown, legs protruding from the bottom of her short skirt. He imagined himself between them, with the inside of each thigh pressed closely against one side of his head. He also imagined a face-full of her muff.

Now here he was, two hours later, right where he had hoped he’d be...

Sex and the USA

I knew it all along.

I’d speculated in a previous entry that it was the show Sex and the City that was responsible for removing the stigma of owning sex toys on the part of women. This article just reaffirms what I’d suspected.

(So Target is selling sex toys now? Hmmm...)

How weird is the sexual climate in this country right now? On the one hand you have super online and offline retailers - such as Amazon.com and Target, respectively - now openly providing sex toys. On the other hand, you have President Bush and the Department of Justice breathing fire down the neck of the adult industry (taking actions against legal, consensual porn, mind you).

Furthermore, over here you have so many mainstream celebrities like Eva Longoria confessing candidly to using sex toys; even as the bosses at her television network (ABC) are telling her to ixnay on the talk about vibrators-ay (granted, her station is a very family-friendly outfit). So what happens after Miss Longoria’s public confession? Boxes and boxes of vibrators get shipped to her home by admiring fans. Meanwhile, back at the ranch (figuratively and perhaps literally speaking in some cases), it’s still illegal to sell sex toys in the states of Texas, Alabama, and Georgia (I don’t know who the governor of Texas was when the edict initially came down in that state, but I have a pretty good guess…)

Moreover, Jenna Jameson seems to make every mainstream female celebrity toplist from FHM magazine to IMDB.com. Conversely, it’s possible that sometime in the near future you might have to pay an extra sin tax in order to get her best-selling book or any of her videos online.

As far as sexuality is concerned in this country, all of these things remind me of the opening sentence from A Tale of Two Cities : “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” And it doesn’t matter what side of the fence you happen to fall on for this statement to be true. Whether you’re pro-pornography and all about frank discussions of bedroom behavior; or you hope that porn goes the way of the dodo bird, and your policy is “Don’t ask, don’t tell” towards experimentation with adult devices.

Just as an aside: In a way, the Bush administration has made the adult industry a sympathetic figure in all of this, if that‘s possible. Ever since I first weighed in on the decision of the Attorney General’s office to make the take-down of the industry Job #1, it seems that all the notable quotes (such as that of political pundit Arianna Huffington ) I see on the issue are about lambasting that decision.

I often wonder what kind of progress sex researchers Alfred Kinsey, William Masters, and Virginia Johnson would have made in this country under this present administration. My thoughts? Not much. No wonder all of the good sexuality studies are coming out of Great Britain right now.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Hawaii Lay, Part I (of 3)

Steve bent Lucy face-down over the kitchen counter, and stooped behind her so that her displayed derriere was at eye-level. He ran both hands up her skirt, forcefully with palms flat, and placed them squarely on her buttocks. Through her cotton panties, he began to massage her perfectly-formed ass in alternating fashion: first up-and-down, then side-to-side, then in a circular pattern.

Steve tugged the back of Lucy’s skirt up to give his head enough clearance to duck underneath. There was just something about the warm, musky, just-had-a-pee smell that emanated from between the legs of a woman that got to him. Especially in the case of petite Asian women. The walls of the skirt acted as a canopy to contain the aroma and reflect it back to the center of its confining space. All of the essence she had built up the whole day, coupled with her heightening sexual excitement, was there, like a tangible presence, underneath that skirt.

Steve slid one hand up her thigh and under the material of her cotton panty on one side of her leg. He continued to rub, knead, pinch, smack, and generally manhandle Lucy’s ass as he saw fit with his left hand. With the other hand, he reached between her legs, lightly fingering and caressing the hood of her clit with the slightest of touches, first through her cotton panties.

Then, adeptly moving the cotton material to the right and holding it aside with the last three fingers of his right hand, he exposed her hooded clitoris. He ran the index finger gently in little circles on her pussy lips close to her clit, eventually switching to his tongue to continue the pattern. First gently, then more urgently. This was one heavenly pussy he did not intend to let get away.

Lucy, on her part, couldn’t believe where his face was buried. Her ex-husband, Mr. Conservative, had never gone down on her, ever. Sure she had masturbated before and she knew how good it felt (mmmmmm, how it felt good). But knowing a man was using his tongue to pleasure her, served to increase the feeling’s intensity. And Steve wasn’t just licking her sweet spot. He was expertly accessing, it seemed, all her secret crevices, giving her a tongue-bath that washed her in wave after spine-tingling wave. It was as if nerves she hadn’t known existed were running from her nether-regions to every pore on her skin.

How did she, a middle-aged mother of two grown-up children, wind up in some strange apartment, bent over a kitchen counter, with a man’s nose halfway up her ass? She remembered standing in front of the mirror one day, as she frequently did lately since her separation, taking stock of her person and position. It must’ve been, what?, three months ago now? How time flies…

She’d just come out of the shower, toweled off, and was taking inventory in the medicine cabinet mirror. She stared at her chubby but small-boned reflection. Lucy cupped one hand under each of her C-cup breasts lifting them gently. They’re starting to sag , she thought pensively. She put her hands on each side of her naked buttocks and spread them. Her bottom remained as firm as ever. She nodded to herself appreciatively. She then picked up her brush and began to brush her hair slowly and deliberately (something she really liked to do because of the pleasurable sensation it produced on her scalp).

Lucy was 46: a quiet, demure, and unassuming Philippine woman with a good-natured smile that was never far from her lips. She had many girlfriends of long-standing who all swore by her. She usually wore full-length pants in public, pants that were usually coupled with a suit jacket and simple dress-up sandals. She usually wore a pant-suit out, even to make her daily rounds. Her outfit, she reasoned, was probably a little too hot to wear all-year round in the Oahu climate. But Efrin, her recently estranged husband, would hear none of it: she was supposed to dress like the wife, as she was, of a respected Philippine resident living on the island.

Leonora was coming to pick her up soon. Leonora, her best friend, was a 37 yr old, long-time divorcee. She was one of those women that had grown up too fast. Back in the Philippines, as a teenager, she was constantly breaking her curfew. She had many male “friends” with which she spent a considerable amount of time with, especially at night. Though her parents didn’t know this, she drank far more than was good for her. Leonora could hold her liquor, however, and never did anything she would live to regret with those boys. She just wanted to live her life to the fullest from a very young age.

Her parents, fearing for her safety and possible lack of good judgment, had married her off quickly to a distant relative’s son. This was only 18 years ago but back then, Philippine parents had every right and social obligation to arrange their child’s marriage. For Leonora, who never intended to be tied down, marriage was a disaster and short-lived. The relative’s son cheated on her but she could have over-looked that. The problem was he was just not the man for her. In order to avoid the expected move back into her parents’ house as a young female divorcee, and also to escape their control completely, she came to Hawaii.

Many of Lucy’s girlfriends from back in the Philippines, including Leonora, had told her how their husbands or husbands of women they knew had cheated . Her husband had never cheated on her as far as she knew. He was a good provider and a great father. Their kids thought the world of him. She and him had just grown apart.

Her husband had never let Lucy wear anything shorter than a full-length skirt outside of the house. He claimed only the sexually promiscuous women showed off their legs outside of their homes. According to him, these were the only women who wore trampy lingerie and underwear. She knew her husband didn’t allow her to wear a short skirt, partly, because of how conservative he was. However, she also instinctively knew without him saying so that he did not want other men to see that which (in his mind) was his alone to enjoy.

Lucy would wear a skirt this evening. Not too tight, but not knee length either. Something loose, that came up to her mid-thigh. Round it off with her dress-up sandals. She was ready to step out, but she wasn’t about to throw all caution to the wind. The sexy underwear would have to wait for another occasion. The sound of an impatient horn came through the window. She hurried outside to join her friend.

She felt the warm evening breeze of late Spring as it came off Walmea Bay. The wind ran up her short skirt, gently caressing her upper thigh and cooling the moistness that had begun to form between her legs. Lucy’d felt the wind upon her legs before as she worked in the backyard and in the house garden wearing her shorts. However, this time, the feeling of the wind served as a reminder of her semi-bare legs in public for the first time (sort of). The thought of other men lusting after her legs gave her a rush.

She and Leonora chatted aimlessly during the drive into town. They were attending one of the numerous open-air seminars that took place this time of the year. She wasn’t sure what the topic of this particular seminar was; something to do with economic independence. She only knew that Leonora had invited her out for the evening and she had jumped at the chance to get out of the house and away from her own thoughts.

They arrived at the seminar grounds just before the opening speaker was to take center stage and they were ushered to their seats. Lucy crossed and un-crossed her legs. Again, something she had done before with clothed legs in public and had done with bare legs in private. But somehow doing it in her skirt out in the open gave her a special thrill.

She was sitting on a seat at the end of the row, a seat that abutted the aisle. Chatting with Leonora, she was surreptitiously taking in the crowd from the corner of her eye. She had a gut feeling that a certain guy sitting in one of the seats directly across the aisle, but several rows up, was eyeing her legs. He would turn to look down the aisle as if he was expecting someone to join him. As he turned to face forward again, he was taking in an eyeful of her short skirt and upper thighs, Lucy was quite sure of that.

The man was about 25 years old, looked smart in his suit, boyishly handsome, very adorable. Let him look, she thought; maybe I should have worn better panties, she chuckled to herself. Suddenly feeling very wanton and brave, she uncrossed then crossed her legs again to give the young man a private show.

After the seminar, Lucy got the distinct feeling her friend were looking for someone in particular. It was nothing Leonora said outright, she just appeared to be distracted. Suddenly, Leonora was waving fiercely to someone across the way. “Come on,” she said to Lucy, “there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Taking Lucy by the hand, Leonora jostled her way through the dispersing crowd and across the expanse of lawn. She pulled up in front of a handsome stranger.

Leonora and Steve had met in the hospital. He’d injured his back on base while training (or so he told the charge nurse upon admission. Actually, he’d fallen out of his top bunk during a tryst with a female cadet). According to Steve, he didn’t think it was a big deal at the time the injury was sustained. But, after feeling constant back pain for three days, he finally decided to check himself into the local hospital’s emergency room on his own time. He was seen by Leonora, who was on duty that day.

He and Leonora had gotten to talking about this and that, and had hit it off almost immediately. They were both free spirits who liked to grab life by the you-know-what. She was already seeing someone, but she had thought to herself, “He‘d be perfect for a certain someone I know...”

“What a surprise!” Leonora exclaimed, trying to sound delightfully shocked. To Lucy, who’d known her for more than ten years, it rang hollow. Lucy had a feeling that Leonora was up to something. But what?

“Imagine running into you, here.” Then, turning to Lucy,
“This is Steve, an acquaintance of mine from the hospital. Steve, Lucy. She’s one of my best friends.”

Lucy offered her hand (“Acquaintance?” she thought) , tentatively. He took it assuredly, in a polite and not-too-firm handshake.

“How do you do?” he smiled.

“Very well, and you?” she answered. His smile was quite engaging, she had to admit. She returned his gesture.

Steve was 37 and rather tall at 6’5”, a fact which most of the women he dated found to be irresistible. Though he had been in the army all his adult life, he was not massively built. In his clothing, which he usually wore one or two sizes too large, he looked like your average 6’5” Joe. It was only when he took off his shirt that you could see just how in shape he was, and see his toned abdominal muscles. His rock hard abs, along with his give-away hair cut, were the only clues to his military lifestyle. He was not a huge talker, although he could turn on the charm when the need arose. He had a laid-back attitude and easy-going smile, both of which women found fascinating also.

Momentary awkward pause. Then, Leonora, to Lucy: “Steve and I were talking the other day. He’s a lieutenant stationed over at Schofield/Shafter base.” The three of them shot the breeze for a while, rehashing the circumstances of his hospital visit, and discussing the just-concluded presentation.

“Steve, would you mind driving Lucy home? I’m on my way to work and I’d have to drive in the complete opposite direction just to drop her off. She lives just outside of Haleiwa.”

He nodded, “Not a problem. I live in Waialua, it’s not terribly out of my way.”

So, that’s it, Lucy thought. She’s setting me up.

“You’re such a gentleman,” Leonora said. She kissed Lucy on the cheek and said, “I’m sorry to pawn you off like this, I’m running very late. I’ll call you later, hon, to see how it went.” Leonora gave her friend a conspiratorial wink, a gesture she did not intend for Steve to notice.

Steve noticed.

The entire ride home, Steve tried desperately not to look at Lucy’s tanned, golden brown legs in the passenger’s seat next to him. He imagined what it would be like to run his hands up the back of her smooth legs, up under her skirt. To pass the palm of his hand over her smooth buttocks. With great effort, he snapped himself back to the present. He asked her about herself. She had two kids, and was recently separated; that was all she seemed willing to share at the moment. Although Steve didn’t intend it to be such, he wound up telling her more about himself than he had planned.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Porn DVD Review: Mayhem Explosions 3

What was I thinking when I rented Mayhem Explosions 3 ? Not that it’s a bad production for what it is… it’s just nothing but cumshots. More than 2 hours of just non-stop cumshots. Actually, although it’s a compilation of cum shot scenes from many different movies (which is its selling point), each scene doesn’t just begin with the guy releasing his load and end with the starlet sopping it all up. There is some fucking in each scene just before the critical moment. But still, even if you didn‘t know the title of the DVD, you would get the gist (or should I say jizz?) of the venture ten minutes into watching it.

Mayhem Explosions 3 claims to have over 100 cumshots, but that doesn’t mean that that’s how many scenes there are. There are a lot of fmm, fmmm, etc, group scenes and every time a guy goes pop - as many guys as there may be in a particular scene - the tally counts towards that magic number.

The women in the production are mostly brunettes and blondes (I‘m not sure if I saw a red-head at all), and white. Although Marie Luv does have one memorable scene. There does seem to be a lot of Gia Paloma scenes. I hope you like her, cause you’re going to see her on quite a few occasions…

And obviously since Mayhem Explosions 3 is a compilation effort, the scene settings run the gamut. Girls are fucked anywhere and everywhere from a bathroom commode to the back of a pick-up truck to the top of a big rock overlooking a valley, and all places in between. I mean most of these girls wouldn’t know what a mattress looked like if it fell on them.

And the women are with black guys, white guys, one guy at a time, two or more guys simultaneously, well-hung guys, and not-so-well-hung guys. It seems that, collectively, these girls don’t discriminate; everyone has their turn with them.

So in almost every other aspect (other than the fact that each scene highlights the cum shot), the scenes are as varied as they come (cum?). But, with all that being said, is Mayhem Explosions 3 worth the price of viewer-ship? Sure it’s all well and good to see beautiful, voluptuous women such as Hannah Harper and Jamie Brooks get their faces and big British boobs washed all over with waterfalls of cum drops.

And to watch cum-hungry girls such as Gia Paloma and Tyla Wynn swallow every last drop; or, on the other hand, not be so selfish and snowball it with another girl (Good girl, Avy Lee Roth!).

And to witness filthy anal divas such as Shayna Knight or Aurora Snow take a cock straight to their mouths right after it’s just been in her ass.

And to see a guy grab the crown of a girl’s head to steady it while he strokes himself; all in preparation of giving her her well-earned reward. And oh that moment of instinctive flinching when a girl closes her eyes and braces for goo-impact...

What was my point again? Oh yeah. What could one possibly want with a solid 124 minutes of all that?

On second thought, I think I’ll go watch all 2 hours over to make sure I got all my facts straight. But before I go I’ll just say, if you like cumshots, rent or buy Mayhem Explosions 3. That’s the bottom-line, plain and simple. Talk about cutting to the cumshot...

Mayhem Explosions 3