See you in Septem- er - October

Off on vacation. Be back in two weeks.

Ladies Got Back

I like big Latina butts and I cannot lie. If a latina butt were a diamond, its cut would be its shape: whether the butt was filled out or dimpled, the distance from the height of the butt to the part where it meets the beginning of the back of the thigh, the separation of the inner aspect of each cheek from that of the other, etc.

Its carat would be its girth (how wide it is) and its depth (how much it juts out in the back), just the sheer size of it. Its clarity would be its surface appearance: the color of the skin, from the light cream color of Puerto Rican ass to the dark caramel color of the Brazilian butt; the texture of the skin; the beauty marks (moles); and last but(t) not least, the tan-lines.

What's not to love about the Latina butt, fellas? You can admire it in all its subtle forms and nuances, as I've stated, much like you would admire an exquisite painting or work of art. You can fluff it up and use it as a pillow at night, if you’re lucky enough to have one of your very own. Feel free to use one or both cheeks.

You can also use it as a sort of Rorschach test: gaze into the patterns on the surface of the skin and in the tan lines and just let your imagination run free. What you see is all subject to your own interpretation. You can spank it (not too hard!), pinch it, or tweak it and see all kinds of impressions and marks you can leave. Rub the butt off and repeat. It’s sort of like a magic slate (remember that toy?) for male adults. There are so many uses for the Spanish booty; I’ve only just scratched the surface (pun slightly intended).

I know these applications are sort of tongue-in-cheek (can I get a rimshot on that one?); but, really, the Hispanic butt is mesmerizing, awe-inspiring, and truly a natural wonder.

The reason I bring all this up is because I recently came across two very bootylicious Latina sites. They’re each worth a look-see. (Click on the pics below to access the sites.)

My Big Booty

CBunz Latinas

“Whatever happened to...?” Part V: I peruse a lot of adult, pornstar-specific, message boards and I hardly hear any mention of Keisha . She’s a Latin starlet (with some junk in the trunk, of course, in keeping with the theme of this entry) who had her heyday from the early to mid 90s. I first remember seeing her in a Randy Spears movie called Queen of Hearts , and then developing this huge crush on her.

Well, the folks at KSEXradio recently caught up with her. It turns out she’s married - as most of the older pornstars now are - but she still shoots scenes for the adult industry. As a matter of fact, she does some personal escorting on the side. So if you’re ever in the Los Angeles area and are in need of “company” (*hint, hint*)...

Pornstar News: Breast of Show

I heard that my girl Teagan Presley (pictured, top) got some new boobs. Congratulations to her and I hope it helps her career. Now excuse me while I go sob in the corner and lament the fact that another fantastic natural figure has bitten the dust. It’s not that I think a pornstar with not that much on top shouldn’t go bigger. Far from it, as a matter of fact. I’m all for balancing her top with her lower half, as pornstars say (meaning, getting larger breasts to match her bigger than average ass). So in cases like Teagan’s, who I think has a better than average ass, she’s kind of justified in getting the procedure done. It’s cases where the starlet didn’t have that big an ass, with naturally smallish boobs to match, to begin with that I have a big problem with breast augmentation. Such as with Katie Morgan: She has a naturally petite frame, so her recent boob job makes her look (to me) a little freakish. And while it looks like (from various photos) Ms. Presley didn’t go overboard in size, part of me still has a problem with fake boobs even when said fake boobs give a woman more balance, so to speak.. She (Teagan) could have had the best surgeon in the world, but being that she was coming from a position of nothingness (she was an A-cup before), anything else just doesn’t look the same. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen her with nothing and the new boobs look foreign. But to play devil’s advocate, take one of my favorite pornstars Kiki D’aire (bottom pic): I only got to know her work with her fake boobs. That’s all I’ve known of her since day one. (I’ve since seen her in past

work while she was still smaller.) Adorable girl, great personality, otherwise gorgeous figure. When she’s photographed from a reasonable distance the breasts don’t look as bad. Also, her figure looks magnificent when she’s not naked (that sounds like an insult, but believe me I‘m not trying to be mean here); she can really fill out her clothes well. Yet her breasts, close up, look hideous (not just bad). Even if you didn’t see what she looked like previously, you can tell that she was coming from a position of nothingness. There are fake breasts, then there are really fake-looking breasts. Ms. D’aire’s boobs are a little too obvious.

On the other hand, Tera Patrick (second from top) got breast augmentation (I’m still wondering why to this day), going from a D-cup to a DD-cup. And to tell you the truth, for a long time, I didn’t even notice! It was only after someone pointed it out to me, that I took a closer look (*wink, wink*) and I saw that indeed her “boob profile” wasn’t the same compared with her earlier pictorials. So it’s all a matter of perspective: while a size or two jump in cup size doesn’t make a whole heckuva lot of difference to a D-cup, it makes a world of difference to an A-cup.

And you can tell the porn stars who have made sizable jumps (3 or more sizes) in breast size; whether from an A to a D or a C to a EE. Whereas the chest of a woman with huge real ones looks like gently rolling mountains arising from natural valleys, that of a formerly small woman who has gone up too many sizes looks like a mesa or plateau rising suddenly and steeply from a plain. It’s just so sharp and pronounced.

Katja Kassin is another one of my favorites, and if there’s any one who could stand an augmentation, it’s her. It would balance out her huge ass (it‘s all good, by the way). And again, far away and in clothes she would have a great figure. But up close and naked, which is what her job is about (as with all porn stars), I wouldn’t like it. I guess I just don’t like fake boobs, for one reason or another (whether it’s because they disproportion the woman, it‘s glaringly bad, the scars are unsightly, etc), no matter how well the job is done.

Why can’t all starlets be like Sophie Dee (third from top, courtesy of BangBros) and be part of the Natural Big Tits Round Ass society? Oh yeah, because of that whole “Variety is the spice of life” thing...

Porn Review: One Man's Obsession

First of all, hats (or should I say pants?) off to Jessica Drake for not sticking to making love to just her husband (Evan Stone, who is not just a male pornstar, he‘s the male pornstar. The guy is everywhere). It seems nowadays more and more porn starlets get married or attached, and they have on-screen (in addition to off-screen) sex with only one guy. In One Man's Obsession, Randy Spears

plays a nerd stalker guy named Simon (and really, is there a more quintessential geek name than “Simon”? ) who can‘t get enough of actress/model Celeste played by Drake. He sneaks out to the desert to watch her, he steals her underwear when she’s not around, he even spies on her while she’s banging other dudes. And these are just the tamer actions. Even though I’m not going to give it away, some of what he does is pretty extreme and it’s worth seeing the movie just to see the lengths he goes to in order to get his girl. The movie is worth a couple of laughs.

In my opinion, the simultaneous blessing and curse inherent in the movie is that it tries to provide all the production values of a mainstream Hollywood film. By production values I mean such things as, but not limited to:
1. A coherent, logical, believable plot;
2. Cinematography: the look of the film;
3. Costume design: nothing flashy, but the characters have to dress their parts; and
4. A custom trailer of adequate length.

And being that the producers of One Man's Obsession raised the stakes, I in turn raised my expectation levels and in so doing, I found the movie kind of lacking on the finer points.

Most issues I have with the movie have nothing to do with the sex. For example, there are sequences in the film where he’s following her and you start to wonder how in the world she doesn’t know that he’s that close behind her. Doesn’t she hear his footsteps or his breathing, or even see his shadow? If they were to both stop, and he were to keel forward he would make contact with her; that’s how close he is to her. It’s almost cartoon-ish how oblivious Celeste is to her immediate surroundings. Aren’t women supposed to be more intuitive than that?

And Drake, it seems, is always wearing a micro-miniskirt, which just happens to be a voyeuristic stalker‘s dream. As the old joke goes, if her skirt were any shorter, she’d have to shave. Oh wait, she is shaven...

Another thing that bugged me: there’s a diner in One Man's Obsession that has a spotless restroom. I don’t care if it is a woman’s bathroom, a public toilet should not be that clean. Also, (I promise I’ll stop soon) how can we the viewers see Spears spying on Drake from the adjacent building and she not see that?

When it comes to the sex in the movie, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there are about 7 or 8 sex scenes in the movie, which is more than average for a standard 2-hour adult flick. The bad news? The best way I can sum up all the sex scenes in One Man's Obsession is with the word “adequate.” It’s because the sex scenes aren’t necessarily spectacular (they’re not terrible, either) that I found myself concentrating so much on the plot and the storyline and all the other minutia that come secondary in a porn film (it should be all about the suckin’ and the fuckin’ and the bonin‘ and the groanin‘, right?).

Now, a lot of the sex scenes are good because of their locale, mood, setting, or lighting. Not necessarily because there is some position you haven’t seen before, or the woman in the scene is moaning her head off.

Take the second sex scene with Shay Sights and Joey Ray: The sight (no pun intended) of the tanned bodies juxtaposed next to the crystal blue water, the cloudless sky, and the white backdrop makes the scene hot. And by the way Sights has some of the most magnificent tan lines you’ve ever seen. She gets ridden doggy-style in some shallow water (Well, it would look kind of silly in deep water, wouldn’t it?); she does anal; and all the while you‘re not only wishing you were doing her, you wish you were doing her in that exact same setting. The scene is just great to look at.

As you might expect, Spears and Drake eventually hook-up through some plot-line write-up (I’m not going to say how). Like I’ve said on another occasion, Spears is a consummate pro, and he and Drake seem to have good chemistry. The scene is more than adequate. She pumps up and down on his lap, and he does her doggy-style under a mini-waterfall (more like a cascade). Actually, they went back to the sparkling pool water and white walls technique again for this scene. Not so hot this time around: the tan and the tan-lines just aren’t there, and it‘s just too soon after the first comparable setting (between Sights and Ray).

Drake then blows Tommy Gunn by the side of his mean-looking sports car. But, alas, oral is as far as these two go…

The spy scene in One Man's Obsession(there’s always a scene in every adult feature film where someone is watching other people have sex) is one in which Spears is cooped up in a closet peeking out at Nikki Benz and Rick Patrick as the latter two go at it. Nikki Benz is great to look at, but I thought this scene also lacks luster. I wish she had half the energy of Nikki Hunter, Benz’s namesake and someone whom Benz resembles a lot physically. (I’ve always wondered if it was a coincidence that Hunter and Benz have the same name.) And the scene didn’t have much atmosphere to save it. One would love to see Benz take it in the butt here.

In one of the oddest circumstances involved in a sexcapade, Spears’ character picks up a hooker - played by Roxanne Hall - on the street and takes her back to his digs. Remember what I said earlier about Simon doing some extreme things? Well, what he does in this scene might just take the cake. If you want some laughter along with some good hardcore and pile-driving anal action this is not a bad scene to begin with. Call this scene Drake-Spears Part 1½.

As usual, the best scene is the one with the most people in it (funny how that works in a skin flick). A threesome between Drake, Aveena Lee, and Armstrong. Yes, Armstrong pulls (no pun intended) double duty as a performer. (And how cool is that? It’s great enough, as a director, to be able to insert yourself into a non-adult flick; but to be able to cast yourself in an adult movie...) This scene is the best because - to begin with - finally there’s some passion to a scene. Aveena Lee is absolutely adorable, and she and Drake bring some gusto. I wouldn’t have minded seeing more of Lee throughout One Man's Obsession. More on that later.

This scene has anal, too. Not on Drake‘s part here, though, or anywhere else in the film. I don’t know why because she’s constantly stimulating her own anus with her hands throughout the movie during her sex scenes. I found myself wondering why she doesn’t just take a stiff one up the ass and call it a day. Maybe she only does that in her private life with her husband.

Another reason this is a good scene is because it has what I would call appropriate lighting. The scene reminds me of the porn of yesteryear when mostly every scene indoors was shot in deliberate bad light and was accompanied with cheesy background music. (To tell you the truth, I’m still not sure if modern porn was meant to be shot with floods. That’s just my personal opinion.) For whatever reason director Brad Armstrong shot this scene this way, whether he did this on purpose as a homage to retro porn or not, the look of the scene works for me.

In the end, One Man's Obsession is all about Spears’ character and Drake’s character. As far as I know, no other performer has more than one sex scene. The other people in the story whom you would have liked to see more of , like Lee and Benz, seem to be just figureheads and carnal objects. They are only for the purposes of showing different people having sex on-screen. You hardly ever see them, nor hear from them, nor hear them mentioned at any other time before and/or after their respective lone scenes.

I guess the moral of the porn flick (and yes, you heard me say the words “moral” and “porn” in the same sentence) is, fellas, don’t go doing the stuff this guy does just to get a girl. If she’s not interested in you from the start, it’s just not worth it to even try. Unless you look like Tommy Gunn and you have a wicked ride (no pun intended as far as the studio goes)...

One Man's Obsession

Wane's World

I mentioned before that sometimes I’m shocked that well-established porn stars, like Ron Jeremy, don’t have more - if any - signature toys. The same goes for Taylor Wane: up until now, she’s only had 2 or 3 custom novelties, and these it seems you could only get at her site.

Well, that’s about to change because she, in conjunction with Nasstoys, is coming out with several well publicized toys (first unveiled at the AVN Adult Novelty Expo in July) in the near future. One toy of particular note is called The Assturbator and it’s an anal starter kit for those just getting into anal play. I cruise a lot of adult and swinger message boards so I know that there is a market for this particular product.

Like I’ve said before, Miss Wane has one of the better personalities in the adult industry. (And no, that’s not a euphemism for having a big rack. Although...) To sum her up, I would say she has the spirit of a horny (or should I say randy being that she‘s British?), dirty old man inside of a petite, buxom, blonde shell.

You really ought to listen to her at KSEXradio every Monday, 6pm west coast time (it‘s free to listen). Maybe you can call in to her show and help her pick out names for some of her other pending toys (I don‘t know if you can come up with a cooler name than “The Assturbator“). She’s also a celebrity editor for Busty Beauties magazine.

To be notified when The Assturbator is released, and to purchase Taylor’s existing products, go to her exclusive store.

Porn Review: Debbie Does Dallas The Revenge

Sunrise Adams is the cutest, most adorable thing since sliced bread. Nobody does pouty like her (those lips and eyes!). There’s no one I’d sooner get a professional from. And you just have to see her in a pair of short shorts. That being said, she shows glimpses of energy in certain scenes that, sadly enough, are not rampant throughout Debbie Does Dallas The Revenge.

Adams plays the title role of Debbie, a struggling head (tee hee) cheerleader who’s trying to make her way among the spoiled rich kids in school, while making time with Dallas. Dallas, played by Chris Cannon, is one of the school’s pre-eminent jocks (with a “j”). Though a little misguided, his heart is in the right place. Adams and Cannon genuinely seem to have chemistry, though I wish their love scene could‘ve had more pizzazz. That scene could’ve been an instant classic (and how many times have you heard that expression?), related to the setting. But for some inexplicable reason, the scene is relocated just before they start to get hot and heavy.

A number of co-stars in Debbie Does Dallas The Revenge deserve props. Nicole Sheridan almost steals the movie right out from under Adams’ nose. Her enthusiasm throughout the film is amazing. All her scenes have you absolutely begging for more of her. One of the few scenes where Adams ups her energy level is in her tryst with Sheridan, which takes place outside by the campfire light (you do not want to miss that scene). But then again, Sheridan could get wood out of a corpse. She’s that good. I’m now a big fan of hers.

I don’t think Jordan Haze has two lines in the film, yet manages to come across very charming. Frankie has a masturbation play that’ll make you wish that you were, more than anything, an over-sized dildo. And Rebecca Love is straight-up eye candy.

Leslie Zen plays the enemy to Adams’ Debbie, and makes for a good villain (you definitely see where the title Debbie Does Dallas The Revenge comes from). She has those fiery smoldering eyes, and she has the evil cum face down pat. One of the few people Adams seems to have physical chemistry with is Zen. Their scene together, between the main protagonist and the main antagonist, has the makings of something explosively good. But for some reason their scene is cut short. What happened?

Maybe I’m coming down a little too hard on Adams. I guess I was expecting more out of her because she has the lead in a film sporting a legendary moniker. But, like I said, at times her energy level didn’t seem to be up to snuff. In a three way romp she has along with Evan Stone and Olivia Del Rio, she manages to come across as a third wheel. In her very own movie! Nevertheless, the scene would’ve seemed just as complete with only the latter two.

Would I recommend Debbie Does Dallas The Revenge? Listen, anytime you have topless cheerleaders and a good-looking student body (pun intended) you have a winner.

Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge

Porn Policies, Perversion Possession, and Party Politics

Shockingly, top U.S. attorney Anthony Acosta said the other day that the highest priority of the Attorney General’s office and the Department of Justice would be going after the (legitimate) adult industry.

It’s not that I can’t believe that that of all things is their top priority. I just can’t believe he said it out loud. For some time now I’ve suspected that Alberto Gonzales and the DoJ had waged an all out war on pornography; and not just in its illicit forms such as child pornography. But why would a representative of his office come right out and say it? As it is, he’s not only put the industry on high alert that the entire U.S. judicial war-machine is after it, he’s alienated certain members of law enforcement and members of his own prosecution team.

To play devil’s advocate here, maybe he was indirectly speaking out to certain backers of the current administration that Bush et al. were on their side. It’s no secret (like the article says) that this administration has the support of ultra-conservative Christian groups like the American Family Association. Maybe the declaration was just to appease these Bush backers. (And just as an aside but isn’t it ironic that, for a president that’s so tough on the sex industry, every other sentence that contains his name has a sexual innuendo to it?). Even as the department sees the impracticability of destroying porn in every manner, shape, or form. But if you were the AFA or a member of such a group, that would sound great to your ears.

And I’m not even knocking the AFA. Every group has its own agenda and the AFA is no different. The eradication of porn - which I’m not on board with - is one of it’s chief goals, and understandably so. It’s not like grander social, government, safety, and international issues are on their docket.

My gripe is with government who has greater responsibilities to the public than to listen to the select, yet highly vocal, religious right.

Even the Democrats are taking a page out of the Republican handbook: they’re even jumping on the “end all pornography now” bandwagon. In Operation Win-Over-the-Red-States (because the Southern US “red states,” if you will, comprise an overwhelming majority of the religious right), democrats and republicans alike are tripping over themselves to see who can crack the whip the hardest, the loudest, and with the most authority on the adult industry.

Senator Blanche Lincoln (D- Ark) recently proposed the popular/infamous (depending on your stance on pornography) sin tax bill, wherein all online adult sales would be charged an additional 25%. Senator Hillary Clinton (D - NY) proposed a far less onerous statute that would fine electronic retailers who try to sell video games of an inappropriate rating (Mature or Adult) to underage kids.

In an article I wrote previously, I lambasted the pending Lincoln proposal (at the time, it was just a strong probability that the bill would be suggested). But it wasn’t along practical guidelines. My argument was more along moral lines; namely, the fact that the tax would be like punishing the porn consumer who’s only exercising his Free Speech rights to legitimate adult material.

On the other hand, this Judicial Department crusade (which would also involve the FBI and other law-enforcement entities) makes no practical sense. As it’s been stated, it’s just a waste of valuable resources. In order to pursue this anti-porn venture, prosecutors would have to be taken off child pornography cases. Not that you need me to tell you how important it is to stem the proliferation of underage sex content; but the next time you get a moment, type the word “porn” into Google and search the News link. It seems every other story involves child smut.

So if the government wants to tackle porn, the sexual exploitation of minors for profit would be a good place to clean up first. Next, it would do well to take a serious look at what its counterpart is currently doing across the pond. British legislators are trying to create laws that would make it a crime to possess “extreme” forms of pornography on your computer. The laws would just be an extension of an obscenity statute that has existed for almost half a century , but the statute would now apply to the internet as well.

In reference to “extreme pornography”, the paper written on the would-be law includes such acts as bestiality and necrophilia, in addition to the sexual violence and the violence in a sexual context mentioned in the article. In my opinion, here’s the kicker as far as the paper goes: it actually invites public feedback! As far as I know, UK citizens are actually encouraged to write in with their opinions. So not only is British government going to kick you-know-what and take names. It’s going to heed some input, then kick you-know-what and take names. And all this for possessing depictions of sexual acts that most people would regard as perverted to begin with.

(Aside 2: Research conducted recently came to the conclusion that viewing pornography and/or violence has a short-term blinding effect. Could it be just a coincidence that these laws were proposed right about the time the results of this study got out?)

Governing with the consent of the governed: What a novel democratic concept! And not just listening to the collective voice of a conservative few to rule the entire masses.

So to Gonzales and co., I would say you have to crawl before you can run. Continue to enforce codes (such as Title 18 U.S.C. §2257) which ensure that children are not sexually exploited, and codes that arose from the 1973 Miller v. California Supreme Court ruling concerning obscenity. Maybe even get a statute like the one that they are entertaining in Britannia for cases of “extreme smut.” It’s not even a crime yet in this country to possess any pornography which could be construed as obscene. Baby steps, people.

Another thing that struck me about the British endeavor was the realization on the part of a high-ranking law-enforcement official that while they didn’t expect to totally rid the internet of such offensive material, the new law would be a step in the right direction.

In the same vein, US anti-porn legislators need to temper their enthusiasm a little and not be so hell-bent for leather in their desire to rid the country of all pornography. But even if they don’t do that, at least they shouldn’t go around with so much braggadocio. Sheesh! Those guys at the Free Speech Coalition are actually looking for a fight...