Blow Ups and Downs
by D. Daigle
Blow-up dolls were all the rage in the 1980s. A girlfriend - of the inflatable-variety – that doesn’t nag about your job or hygiene, yet does submit to your every sexual pleasure! Admittedly, ‘She’ was a bit on the passive-side and, come to think of it, prone to puncture, but when it came to sex – Ms Dolly never had any complaints.
Not to mention that She was always easy to get hold of (as long as you could remember where you left her) and if She was ever feeling a little down, you need only ‘pump her up’ and She’d be back to her old self.
Of course, nowadays, doll technology has come along way. From battery-powered, vibrating moveable parts to a variety of hairstyles so that you can customize your plaything’s look, right down to “Shaved” or “Natural.”
Then there are even a range of dolls ‘for her pleasure.’ These blow-up hunks are complete with stiff ‘appendages’ and life-like abs. And there is even a dude-doll modeled after a Roman gladiator. So, when your Russell Crowe-alike isn’t being put to good use in a solo-love session, consider this – he makes a great watch-dog! Prop the large armoured guy against your window to scare off potential intruders… Home security and a sex partner for as little as $105!
Nevertheless, as far as substitutions go, some love dolls are better than others. Take for example the Vanna doll, based on ex-ballet dancer, and former Miss Nude World, Vanna Lace. Supposedly the very latest in mock-girlfriend technology, the Vanna doll is “the ultimate experience for those of you who want to have me all to yourself,” Ms. Lace claims. Apparently the doll was built with the assistance of “Hollywood’s top special effect artists” although, how does this plastic doppelganger compare to the real deal?
Well, the doll has an “articulated skeleton” of PVC bones and “aluminium joints that simulate human motion” (doesn’t all this technical talk just make you incredibly horny?). This skeleton is then covered with “a life-like formulation of soft, elastic, silicone skin.” According to Vanna, the silicone rubber “feels just like me;” and she isn’t just talking about her breasts.
To top it off, this creepy copy is “personified” in Vanna’s image – “My twin in every way!” - but you’d be mistaken in thinking that you wouldn’t be able to tell the two apart. Kids would have hours of fun playing spot the difference between pictures of Vanna and Vanna Love Doll (hint: The real Vanna is the one with the wooden smile on her face).
So, the bottom line, what’s the price tag for your very own Vanna-duplicate? $5495.00 (plus a $395.00 shipping charge), which begs the question: who is the real dummy?
There is a better value selection at www.wildsidelingerie.com LOVE DOLL section. Most of the clones on offer have ‘realistic-feeling’ mouths, vaginas, and anuses, some even vibrate!!!
Yet, sadly, none of the makers took the opportunity to bless the dolls with ‘bonus-entries.’ Why not add an extra un-anatomically correct orifice behind the left ear? That’s what I’d call more bang for your buck!!
To see what's available visit www.wildsidelingerie.com Sex Toy Department then click on Love Dolls.
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