Sex Toy Info: If she (or anyone else) builds it, they will cum...

I want to thank Sue Johanson for giving me the heads up concerning this toy. (WARNING: if you're allergic to bad or questionable puns, you might want to turn away now; this article, as I will unabashedly note in each circumstance, is littered with them.) It was her television show on the Oxygen cable network that first turned me on (+2) to the Head Honcho male masturbator. Now, according to her website TalkSexwithSue , said

masturbator has been voted Best Toy of the Year by her visitors and viewers. The poll/pole (+3) results were announced in late May of 2007.

For those who don't know, the Honcho is very much like other masturbators in that it fits over the shaft of the penis. When you maneuver the device up and down your member (simulating the jerk-off motion, of course), the (count 'em) 3 suction pockets within the Head Honcho supposedly create the great erotic sensation you feel. It allegedly feels just like a warm vagina.

The toy is made of silicon and is sort of clear (semi-lucent) in appearance, which I hear is part of the appeal to men: they like to see the moment of ejaculation within.

Johanson originally aired her views on The Head Honcho in October of last year (2006). Up until that point, I'd thought that all of her reviews were independent reviews of others' products. I mean, the whole crux of her show was to give unbiased, pertinent sexual information. How could she review her own product objectively? Wouldn't there be a whole "conflict of interest" clause involved?

So for a long time I believed that the toy was produced by another party (which it was/is, by the way), and was so personally admired by Johanson et al that, in subsequent productions of the Head Honcho, she later decided to lend her name to the product. I later found out that she was addressing an item that was in her own toy line from the start. But, just to let you know, two other separate and independent reviewers concurred with her analysis.

Nevertheless, none of this is either here nor there when it comes to the popularity of the masturbator. And by the way, the Honcho is created by California Exotic, but like I said is endorsed and (highly) recommended by Ms Johanson.

Whatever the Head Honcho's origins, it's a simple-to-use, inexpensive, hands-on (+4), and might I add aesthetically-pleasing device (if you can imagine your girlfriend having a transparent pussy :0). It seems to be well-deserving of its Viewer's Choice status.

With that in mind, I've already written a short, fictional acceptance speech for the Head Honcho. It goes a little something like this:

"Thank you all for coming (+5). First, I'd like to thank the male voters for putting me ahead (+6) of the field. I'd like to especially thank CE for sticking with my production, when I wasn't so well-known and through the (not so) hard times (as far as customers were concerned). Your perseverance in the adult novelty business, unlike my working environment, can't be beat.

"Let's do it again next year. Thanks again."